When did you believe you were actually sick?

Was there an event or compounding symptoms?

Did you just know something was wrong?

I always believed strange things and saw/heard stuff no one else did,

But once when I was in 4th grade a man appeared in my classroom and told me to sharpen my pencil all the way down to the eraser or he would go home and kill my dog.

I was always afraid to go sharpen the pencil because everyone watches you the whole time.

The whole thing was scary, and more similar events started happening regularly,

That’s how I knew something was seriously wrong.

How did it happen for you?


I always suspected something was wrong, I’ve always been a bit off.

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I developed psychosis in a day.

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Was it inspired by something or just happened?

January 2001 .LNG ago


I was diagnosed about 7 or 8 years ago. But it really wasn’t until about 3 years ago I finally admitted to myself that yes, I have a physical problem with my brain. As opposed to just having occult/spiritual problems.

I still believe I have those. Just a physical brain problem to boot.


I was at a customers, they were a big company I had dealt with for a long time, security came out one morning and said I had been acting strange and I would have to go see their doctor, it was that or I would have to leave. I went there, they sent me to a neighborhood clinic, who in turn sent me to the hospital and I was there for 7 days.

After years of other episodes, this was the first time anyone stepped in, the whole time I just went through life thinking that things were just what I thought they were.



So they were concerned about you or they just didn’t want you acting weird?

Drug induced psychosis. From marijuana, salvia, alcohol, energy drinks, and shaman herbs. I thought I was in the matrix for 5 years. I’m getting better now. Things look and feel real again. I just been really tired lately.


Bit of both, they were a big company and had a procedure for it that the security guard happen to pick up on.


What kind of weird?

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Its a good thing they talked to you.

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I was complaining someone was damaging my equipment at their location, I had trailer and trucks there

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I knew something was wrong when I was 12. I went through my rebellious teen phase quite young, and was struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts, and delusions. I also went catatonic once or twice and disassociated quite a bit. The thing that made me realize I was sick though was my terrible meltdowns. I would be screaming, writhing around in pain hitting myself and pulling my hair. I rocked back and forth (kinda self soothing isn’t it?) to calm myself down then realized how much of a mental case I must have looked like.


Around 16 i started behaving a little strange. I was an advanced student but one of my friends would call me “LD-child”. I think that was foreshadowing. But definetly the year leading up to psychosis at 19 i was falling apart, a couple of friends said i needed help several months before psychosis.

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I’ve had depression and suicidal thoughts since I was 12 but never recognized it as a serious health issue. I wasn’t till I was 42 when something further started going wrong and I could not stand to be in the same room as my family unless wearing ear plugs and I kept getting angry at my family for things that weren’t true. Like my mom “was trying to turn the kids against me” and worse. It was the anger that really convinced me that something was wrong.

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I always knew, I got intense euphoric feeling as a child that made me want to squeal really loud.


I’ve always been a bit stupid/dumb/gullible and self-loathing. In my early twenties I began feeling a steady decline of my already enfeebled mental abilities. I began worrying about diseases, thinking there might be something wrong with my brain, Lyme disease, colloidal cysts, whatever I looked up on the internet. Distrust of the internet had to be learned.

I was on and off medications and treatment teams until Thirty, when I had a really scary series of episodes where I was convinced people close to me had hired people to take me out, or watch me/my online activities in an effort to discredit or just for the hell of it. I’m still not convinced either way that I’ll ever be 100% secure unless I go completely off the grid and live in a cave. I had weird beliefs where I thought people were spying on me using sonar or imaging techniques. I used to use a fan and place it against a metal file cabinet to generate sonic interference. I used to throw a blanket over my window to darken the room entirely, in case there were low-light cameras watching me.

After I started medication, I began to see things in such a way that it didn’t matter too much that people were able to watch me. I wasn’t up to anything too evil. Eventually my sense of shame was eroded enough that I could stand being myself by myself. The medications also sapped my creativity and to a lesser extent my libido (not that it matters lol)

Some time passed, and eventually I saw that the way I was before I began medication was simply off the wall insane. I couldn’t have functioned like that in any way.


That’s really interesting,

Thank you for sharing your story.

I was completely fine up until I was 24, except I did drop out of college and didn’t have a job either.

For so long I was hearing voices but they were so believable that they were neighbors that I heard through the walls that I went on with life completely fine. They were benign.

Then bc I was on adderall since 17, something changed in my brain and it ended up making me psychotic. But it helped so much that it took 3 hospitalizations until I stopped going back on it. I was so deep in a psychosis then that I didn’t even know I had something wrong with me.

On my 4th n hopefully last hospitalization my parents had to go to court to get me hospitalized and it was there that they forcefully put me on invega. This was literally a year ago to this day. I was in the same type of psychosis like the last three times, which wasn’t much paranoid but more delusional. Then It inadvertently lifted and I just went on with life realizing everything I went thru was not normal and I still have NO idea how my mind didn’t stop and go “hey this isn’t normal thinking maybe I should get help”.

I’m glad they hospitalized me bc this insight was only reached after being pulled out of psychosis against my will. Then with invega I realized I hated it but it atleast made me normal so that meant I should just be on another ap for the rest of my life.

Can’t wait to start latuda. Lmao the vyvanse is wearing off so I think I might have gotten off topic but thanks for letting me share. Had I always been on vyvanse I think every day that my sz may not have been triggered.

Anyways that’s the “short” story of my illness, good luck with your boobies!