I didn’t actually have a pivotal moment. I was in hospital and just gradually “sobered up” so to speak. It was horrendous.
I can’t think of a pivotal/eureka! moment either.
It was when I started developing negative symptoms in the weeks and months after my psychotic break. Anhedonia put my doubts to rest although alogia was much more dramatic.
Same for me. I was put in one by my parents and then I realized how bad I was. Then when I was symptom free and finally found this site I was like f*ck I have sz.
I had had certain symptoms for years- paranoia, anxiety, OCD, mood swings, depression, etc. But it’s when I actually saw a demon that it hit me. I wasn’t diagnosed sza at that point, but that’s when I knew something was seriously wrong.
I didn’t really have an “oh shite” moment.
I guess when I was put on antidepressants that made me hear voices outside my head before I went to sleep, I realised things weren’t quite as normal as I thought.
I’d felt off for a long time, but I thought it was a mixture of autism and DID and/or the drugs I kept taking (weed and such). Turns out it wasn’t autism nor DID. The doctor told me I was schizophrenic, and it was like I had an epiphany.
“Oh snap… That does seem to fit now that I think about it”
I had never imagined someone who weren’t talking to themself on the street while wearing a tinfoil hat could be schizophrenic, but the more I learned about the illness, the more things started to make sense.
i have two answers to this. one is when i realized SOMETHING (tho not schizophrenia) was wrong. That was when i was in the car and had lost the ability to talk, the day after spending half an hour in crippling fear on the bathroom floor because i was positive aliens were outside the window watching me. the other is when i was actually diagnosed with it months after being put on antipsychotics, (the nurse practitioner i see didnt diagnose me with anything, just put me on abilify when i finally came forward with my problems), when i was being evaluated for something else and the psych dropped the word schizophrenia when going over my diagnosis, and then it all clicked and i realized thats what it had been plaguing me
I was on the bus with my boyfriend (and future husband). I was seventeen. He told me to direct the bus driver to stop the bus. I froze because I did not know how to do this. I just sat there, frozen, not saying or doing anything. And terrified out of my mind. I was paranoid that my boyfriend could read my mind and he could tell that I didn’t know what to do. And I thought I could read his mind and I thought that he was thinking that I was stupid. At that point, I knew I was paranoid, and it was then, that I knew I probably had sz. But, for years and years, I told myself that it only acts up when I’m under a lot of stress. Which, in my lines of work, as an R.N., as a telemarketer, and as a single parent, happened to be all of the time.
I kinda knew when I was a teen cause I started researching psychology and it fit. But I kept telling myself it was because of my situation. I couldn’t have sz it was just my abuser making me think that.
When I was finally out of all the abuse things started to improve and I was like “ah ha I knew it!” But certain things weren’t improving. and there were still breaks from reality. then things were getting worse that’s when I started accepting it.
It took me becoming very suicidal from some voices before I finally reached out. Then i lost my job because of my outbursts. And that’s when it finally sunk in that I couldn’t deny it anymore.
It’s funny I’ve been this way my whole life but I was so resistant to putting a label on it. I’m still searching for peace though.
I was 12 and allready depressed because of newly discovered health issues. Going to middle school was hard enough with puberty kicking my butt. I got a huge guikt trip mentality and everything was my fault what followed was no less then terrifying. I found myself crawling on the floor looking for the microphones of the kids terrorizing me. I had a major break down and locked myself in my room. Finaly my perants talked to me and took me to the hospital. That was my breaking point. I was one of the youngest people to be put in our local psych ward.
Only when I realised the television was talking to me. That was after a couple of visits to emergancy!
When i stopped trying to be happy. And didnt have high during psychosis…i was litterally watching my brain collaps after quitting meds.
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