Hello everybody,
How are you all?
It’s been a while since I posted but I have been living alone, and on my own, much of 2019 with lots of thoughts swirling around my head.
I felt like sharing some of these with you guys today:
- Life is redemption! Life is designed to be tough to give each and every one of us the chance to redeem ourselves from the bad karma of our past lives and ultimately be free from suffering as we pass through at the end.
- Everyone will cause you suffering, it’s the ones that are worth suffering for that you need to find – I did discover through my ‘normal’ girlfriend that even her husband and his family are a source of contention for her. She suffers for him, even though they are the text book ‘happy family’. I’ve come to the conclusion that there are no wholly ‘happy’ people/families who live eternally blissful lives. If they say they are, then they’re lying (… and doesn’t everyone like to say they are on social media, too?)
- If you’re open about living with a condition like schizophrenia, people will not (as I had thought) cushion your ride with them. Interestingly I broke my ankle some years ago and was on crutches to the office for two weeks. It was very hard to walk on those and not once did anyone offer to fetch me a drink or glass of water. They watched me struggle and did nothing. Generally, mental or non-mental, people are selfish and don’t help those of us in need.
**E.g. I had a dream about a crush guy a few months back, that he helped me over a bridge during a tough time breaking up with my long term partner IRL. I told about him this in waking life, in a note I sent with some flowers. He thanked me and said: “Maybe I should try to help people in real life…” I felt so alienated. Can you imagine going through life without helping others? Isn’t helping people the ‘point’? A lot of people don’t help others though and I find this upsetting. - I wondered what ‘the point’ is of life for other people? I know another guy, an art dealer in Milan, told me when he was aged 25 that he has stopped helping others as a matter of principle, because no-one ever helped him.
- I’ve also heard social scientists saying: “Social justice… or what’s the point?” They think live spirals and centres on their fields of work which I find intriguing.
I’m not sure if anyone can relate to these thoughts or feel like passing comment or striking a conversation with a lonely gal from the UK.
TAKE HOME: A psychiatrist once told me that when we’re stable, people with schizophrenia are more kind, considerate and compassionate than the general populace…