I would like to help more people who have schizophrenia. But it’s really difficult for me. Yes I have had similar experiences. But I am not the same person. I can’t fix other people. I don’t want to be the same as everyone either. I want to be my own self, my own person. So I have to be mindful, thoughtful, and not become immersed. Like I have unfriended toxic friends, I have stopped censoring myself online. Just being genuine while going through constant ups and downs of bipolar and constant disillusionment and hope, then magical thinking that is sometimes nice. I’m pretty rational. But like, if you get too deep into mysticism and anything seems possible it can also overwhelm you. I can’t stop trying to help people and its not really me being nice, or me trying to change opinions or have people like me think the same way. Not at all! It makes me happy when there’s less suffering in the world.
I truly believe that the more good things you do the more good things will come. I also think that you have to find beauty in the small things, the tiny steps, the little spaces, the brief moments of bliss in life. It is all we have to hold onto. And if you’re suffering or feeling suicidal right now know that you are loved, that you are wanted here right now and there is no reason to be afraid because you will eventually in time be victorious.