For me its a very slow and insidious thing. I start getting ideas about things, they become intrusive and obsessional. I start with (he’s) implanted me with a microchip I just know it, this becomes so detailed over the weeks with my constant obsessional thinking that I have every possible scenario on why he’s done it covered, everything makes sense to me. my speech becomes fast and I have lots of neologisms. I have only heard one voice and that has been Buddha, He says I am powerful. I become more obsessed about the microchip thinking I am being monitored and that (he) will turn it on and poison me.
I definitely get really obsessive and ruminate constantly. My brain will get locked on something and I cannot turn my mind away from it, cannot focus on anything else. Then come the racing thoughts and insomnia. All bad news.
obsessiveness turns up to a 10 (well its always a ten so we’ll say it turns up to a 20 lol) and i have bad panicky feelings, then paranoia kicks in and i get worse and worse
Yes slow for me as well typically. Biggest warning sign is me getting paranoia at night time again. Tossing and turning with fear about some irrational thing or another. A gradual increase in hallucination frequency and intensity. When the paranoia leaks over into daytime too then I’m really in trouble…
It’s like I’m just gradually lowered into this icy pool of terror.
My paranoia starts to become focused on people laughing at me, as opposed to several sources like usual. I suddenly get completely irrational that everyone is laughing at me, calling me pathetic, my friends really hate me but are too polite to say so.
Then the laughter follows me into my dreams so I get no relief in sleep. Within 24 hours, I have a raging laughing collection of voices.
Your descent sounds like mine. Except there are times where I explode into a rage and everything is against me.
Yeah I’m not so much rage as I am trembling mass of fear. That’s why I find it so ironic when people say that psychotic folks are dangerous, I’m not only not capable of harming a fly while psychotic, I’m actually more likely to be SCARED of the fly while psychotic
Now sometimes I can get violent intrusive thoughts, but I don’t like them, and I think they are my brain trying to make itself feel better like I could protect myself if I needed to.
The protecting yourself thought might just be true. Our brand new do some amazing things.
i get the episodes of agitation and rage really bad when i start getting more psychotic. i remember wanting to put my fist through the wall for no reason and taking pleasure in carving my arm up. couldve been equally or totally tied to sensory problems from autism though
With me a descent involves the hallucinations just becoming too much, like an overload or sparks and I just can’t take it. I’m not paranoid, I just can’t handle all the sensory input I’m getting when the hallucinations stack up (during the worst attacks I can have visual, audio, and tactile at the same time). That’s when I usually consider hospitalization.
The paranoia and delusions are a less intrusive problem for me most of the time. I hit this one hospitalization and a doctor just flat out told me in a way that stuck with me that I was delusional from a brain disorder, and thinking back to that tends to keep me from problems in that area.
I.stop taking my meds and get paranoid of people and i can read their thoughts and they can put ideas in my mind. I know the government is after me because they want to experiment on me. I’m terrified at night that someone is in the house. I believe we have a ghost.
Start thinking every one is out to get me. Voices asking me to take my life. Shadow people.thinking people are talking about me. Who gives a ■■■■.no one.
I start getting hyperactive, sleeping less and less, I start having more and more delusions of grandeur, start seeing connections to things that aren’t connected. Before long I am deeply inbedded into a dream world and end up in a mental hospital. That’s how it has been both of my psychotic episodes
Listening to music 24/7 thinking a man is playing me songs and watching me on hidden cameras. Little eating. Reading certain self help authors excessively
I get that one. I have this strong feeling of a presence. It’s not a constant thing but is a repeating phenomenon. I was told it was anxiety. For sure it makes me anxious-but sensing a presence is just neuroticism ?
That’s how it is for me, too.
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