Bad drug, gives you acid fluids, much.
I want to take lithium.
At least for a month or two, it can be neurotrophic, reversing the loss of grey and white matter volume which follows mood episodes.
CURRENT ISSUES:
—mixed manic state — 9 months
-
anxiety, panic, derealization, sensory hypersensitivity, obsessions, aggression —protracted benzo withdrawal — 3 months
-
anterograde amnesia — from both above — 9 months
Amnesia is improving on Trileptal and Lamictal.
Lithium seems like “brain food”, but atypical antipsychotics, valproate and SSRIs also help.
Now:
-900mg Trileptal in 3 split doses —> 600mg (3day) —> 300mg (week) —> 0mg
-300mg Lamictal —> cut in half, to 150mg
FUTURE (DAY)
—/// Adding Depakote \\—
-250mg Depakote ER 7am — w/300mg Trileptal
-250mg Depakote ER 7pm — w/300mg Trileptal + 100mg Lamictal
-300mg Trileptal and 50mg Lamictal — Midnight
I’ve been taking quetiapine at 300mg for about 14-18 days. It helps, but I begin to gain insight into delusion, which seems unpleasant.
I experience paranoid delusions. I have been hypomanic for 10 months. This is hypomania, this is almost mania.
It may at some point be mania. Mood highs worsen long term. Higher highs; lower lows.
Eventually mostly lower lows.
I take
250mg Divalproex DR + 100mg Lamotrigine 6pm
250mg Divalproex DR + 50mg Lamotrigine Midnight
Melatonin 3am
Quetiapine 300mg to sleep
500mg Divalproex DR + 250mg Divalproex DR - 6pm
500mg Divalproex DR + 250mg Divalproex DR 9:45pm
300mg Quetiapine before sleep, roughly 5am
—————DAILY RHYTHM—————
I sleep between dawn and 4-5pm, that is when it’s light.
…exercise (run) 5:30-7:30…unstructured…”by feel” … twice a week now, at least through october
Insulin release = 3 meals
- 4pm and 6pm (big) protein, then fat, then carbs
…exercise (resistance) around here…unstructured…”by feel”
-
9pm (biggest) protein first
-
Midnight (smaller) protein first
-reading books…unstructured…”by feel”
Lights out, earplugs, melatonin, l-theanine, reading, movies…
Hi!
Now I do this:
Wakeup 10-midday.
Breakfast; midday.
6pm -LUNCH-
-750mg depakote
-100mg lamictal
(tiny lamictal prn)
9pm -DINNER-
-750mg depakote
-lamictal 50mg
Midnight -DINNER 2-
-500mg depakote
(tiny lamictal prn)
2 am (earplugs)
Sleep by 6am.
Sleep period aim…
…6am to midday.
Importantly;
…Night, blue light blocking glasses. I think that there is evidence for dark therapy:
When I wear orange safety glasses, I can use my devices at night. When I do that, my sleep isn’t disrupted.
With the glasses I think it’s dark, even if it isn’t. They’re helpful.
Again:
12pm Wakeup
(Exercise opportunity)
6pm
750mg divalproex dr, 100mg lamotrigine
(Exercise opportunity)
9pm
750mg divalproex, 50mg lamotrigine
12am
500mg divalproex dr
Between midnight and 6am, SLEEP w/300mg Quetiapine.
I took Quetiapine, about three weeks. It helped a lot with insomnia!
I caught up on sleep, but thought it was making my psychotic symptoms worse.
I stopped on my own, though I know the doctor wouldn’t think that was cool.
I talk to him on Monday. We’ll see if I can get on a good regimen, right now I’ve got:
…Now:
6pm -750mg divalproex, 100mg lamotrigine
9:45pm 750mg divalproex, 50mg lamotrigine
Midnight 500mg divalproex
I take a low dose of lamotrigine on an as needed basis for depression.
It is traquilizer for hallucination and delusions
Antidepressants are ssri and snri( tca antidepressants and mao inhibitors)
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Doctor approved this today, as I made that change myself. He’s unsure, though, as to whether the insurance will allow me to take it 3 times per day. I’m also uncertain.
Now:
750 mg divalproex 6 pm
750 mg divalproex 9:45 pm
750 mg divalproex midnight
This here is new: Quetiapine @ bedtime, roughly between midnight to a bit after dawn
I’m less forgetful on quetiapine, but it seems more side effect heavy than divalproex. I deffo need it, because the sunlight changes, and the season, etc…
Met with doc today, everything’s the same. He brought up:
-Job
-Volunteering
-Back to comm. college
Meds are the same as last month.
So, I’ve been taking this @ bedtime for a month, bedtime being somewhere between midnight and sunrise (7-9am).
Winter is weird because we’ve got a short day, and lots of time with artificial light.
As for spring roughly…
Feb sunrise 7:30-7am — sunset 5:30-6pm
Mar sunrise 6:30-ds7:30-7am —sunset 6-7:40pm
Apr sunrise 7-6am— sunset 8pm
May sunrise 6-5:30am — sunset 8:30-9pm
Jun sunrise 5:30am — sunset 9pm
July 5:30-6am —sunset 9pm
——————————————————
My doc asked me abt muscle movements at my last apptmt. And I noticed some twitching, he said watch it for a week and I reported a little more.
It is quetiapine, I can cope w/out quetiapine if I have a persisting twitching condition, such as tardive dyskinesia.
I will have to discuss it with the doctor. It is small twitching like a sneer upside down on either side of my nose.
Those muscles are slightly tense and ready to clench.
My face movements are now becoming more common. I don’t want to be on a clozapine, though I’m worried my doctor wants to switch me from quetiapine, which already has a low risk in causing eps.
My face is rigid, and if I flex the muscles around my nose, they squeeze.
My doctor ordered benztropine.
I read in a study which I found online that anticholinergic drugs, like benztropine, don’t help. I’ve had high doses of aps for 3 years before being tapered off.
The eps may be from those cumulative elevated doses, rather than me currently reverting to quetiapine.
I have been able to manage having been tapered off them, and feel mood stabilizers at higher or more therapeutic doses might really help me. I’ll just have to wait and see what he thinks.
Much of my struggle stems from my withdrawal from lorazepam last year. Right now I’m not as sharp as I’d like to be.
I’m also having a mood episode, and I think that even simply treating that would be me getting significantly better. Those ideas point toward mood stabilizers, like the depakote and lamictal, or lithium.
Maybe lithium can help me fall asleep.
I’m not too enthusiastic about the idea of clozapine. I want to reduce atypical antipsychotics and remain taking mood stabilizers so my brain can heal from lorazepam withdrawal
Generally; Think about;
-avoiding clozapine,
-tapering off of quetiapine,
-lithium and lamotrigine (yes)
-continuing divalproex and lamotrigine. (Yes)
I messaged him again, he said, “take a lower dose”, so I’ll cut down from 300mg quetiapine
Problem is at one point I felt it got me manic at lower doses
My face moves a little…a little more here and there, it doesn’t bother me, but I’ll…taper and step off
He just sends me messages, as I might get lost in thinking I know what’s going to be ok
I feel optimistic, and I’m finally sleeping…Sleep is good…
I’m awake during the day, and I do my stuff then…
Good habits help. I take the mood stabilizers too…I write in my journal, I jot down ideas.
I love my earplugs, sensory deprivation…or whatever you‘d call it, helps me sleep
I keep the room perfectly dark, with those earplugs in, and white noise from the fan
I put on some comfortable sleeping clothes, I dress almost like I’m going somewhere, because it’s cold
I’d reckon, when you go somewhere, it’s either cold or hot or moving in between, and in a situation you’d adjust
As I understand it, for circadian you get colder as the night proceeds
I don’t notice the movements anymore, but I’m probably still doing them, hopefully not as much as I used to. I take my meds:
6pm - 750 mg divalproex, 100 mg lamotrigine
9:45pm - 750 mg divalproex, 50mg lamotrigine
Midnight - 500mg divalproex
3am -
5mg quetiapine -------> Now is 3/4 tablet next week ----> 175mg ----> March 29 on is 1/2 tablet…this is rough
By early mid April, I’ll fully stop taking it, and I have an appointment scheduled with my doctor in the first weed of April.