What’s everyone doing? i’ve just had a shower and am now lying on my bed.
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I have these intrusive thoughts trolling me as usual, but it’s all right, after all its my choice not to take APs.
I am holding out for a cure.
Now the crisis has passed, feeling better.
Putting kids to sleep, second one is on her way down now. Then I’ll have a shower and prepare for the big day tomorrow…
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Procrastinating on getting into affiliate marketing. Chilling out reading forum stuff and watching youtube videos.
I’m so used to using schizophrenia as an excuse not to do things, but now I have the energy to actually do them but I’m not, out of habit, which is just stupid. Some kind of fear of failure / success going on.
facepalm man, I didn’t realize you were doing this to yourself. I respect your decision, but my heart cries for the years of your life you are wasting holding out instead of getting the same cure, if at all possible, after a fulfilling life of study and work and healthy choices, without being slowed down by intrusive thoughts.
Deiem.
Anyway. Good luck in all you do. I mean it.
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Watching my grandma while she sleeps. She has early dementia and my mom went to stop by at someones wedding so im just sitting next to her bed for another hour or so. I love her, but her condition makes me sad and sometimes i get teary eyed when i try talking to her because she usually just stares at me without speaking back. I miss her healthy self from years ago; she was like my second mother until she started firgetting everything.
On forums on my cell phone and drinking lemongrass tea (its just a teabag, i dont have fress lemongrass)
Just finished cutting the grass. Going to vacuum my car out and clean it a bit. Trying to take it easy today and let my back heal up after hauling the parents’ old TV out yesterday. Kind of messed myself up some there.
I’m trying to let my right arm heal a bit, even though I’m pretty sure it won’t heal entirely because it has been getting worse for months.
I have a Doctor appointment this week and I hope he will be able to start a treatment.
Maybe I’m using that as an excuse to be lazy and procrastinate, but I think it is a pretty good one.
I’m just glad my co-workers are such bad employees. They make a guy with only one good arm look good.
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I just had a nap after being up most of the night talking to a friend on the phone. I sleep better now that I’m not hurting because my doctor changed the statin I take - muscle pain. I went to Bible Study and Church this morning. Then I walked to the bank’s ATM machine to get exercise my doctor says I need. Yesterday I walked to the bank for $20.00, but today no reason in particular reason other than it’s the beginning distance I set for myself to walk.
walking around on my large property for exercise and some honest dopamine. also make sure my two kittens are doing well. gave them a flea treatment this morning.
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waiting for supper.
Just had a nap. Now I’m going back to sleep but also expecting a phone call
Oh I’m in pain from my knee. My dad’s taking me to the doc tomorrow. But just lying on my bed now.
Its 5.26 am and i still havent fallen asleep. Thinking of making coffee and a sandwhidge.
I just watched a movie Father Figures. It was ok not as good as I thought it would be.
I’m eating 
Later I plan on studying.
I’m awake in bed. I went to bed early out of boredom, but now I’m just lying in bed wide awake.
I was taking a few minute break from programming. Was about to get back on. I overcame the struggles I was experiencing yesterday 
I woke up earlier today. Now it’s:
June 4, 2018 5:22 AM (Europe: Paris), June 3, 2018 8:22 PM (America: Los Angeles)
Today is just another day.