What's been going well with you?

DX'd - Other
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The past three days have been going a bit rough for me…

There has been a little family stress… and work got a bit busy so I got over stretched on top of it… now it’s a holiday… this one I have to bow out of. I’m lucky my family understands.

The voices have been sort of acting up… I’ve been fighting off some negative sneaky brained thinking… I’ve been having a hard time even getting through some of the basic stuff I need to do…

my spelling and concentration has been harder to keep on top of… my brain has been erased…

I still recognize I’m doing better then I have been in the past… but not doing better compared to last week.

Since I do get a lot of hope and a good energy when others are in a good space…

What has been going well with you?

to count my luck…

I still have a roof over my head.
I still managed to do what I needed to do at work
I’m still kicking
if all goes well for me… it might rain later and then I won’t feel so guilty about not getting out and taking care of the weeds in the garden.

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May is the hardest month.

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Well, overall I’d say things are pretty stable. I’m still at University one day a week taking a Photoshop course. I haven’t missed a class yet and it ends pretty soon in June. Will just have to produce the final project and it’ll be a completed task.

I have registered for a 2-year full time course at the College level in Video Game Design. The coordinator acknowledged my portfolio so I’m hoping to get an interview to assess my motivation. I don’t know when I’ll be notified but I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

It was my birthday 4 days ago, the lady that lives beside me came to ask if I wanted to take a beer with her and I ended up leaving her house with a tiny bit of weed that I smoked alone. It was my first joint in 8 months. After the initial paranoia spike it actually felt pretty good listening to music and drifting asleep. But I know I have to keep away from pot if I want things to improve. Let’s say I’ll smoke one a year from now on my next birthday. Hopefully I can continue on my sober streak. Had to wear earplugs too cuz I was afraid the voices were gonna show up.

I’m in the process of spring cleaning my apartment. Management sent an e-mail asking if there are any repairs needed. The whole floor in my bedroom is pretty damaged and if they want to change it it means taking out my desk and bed, that stresses me out because it will be a massive undertaking and might take a while. I hope I’ll be finished tidying up my place this week-end.

I’d say life’s okay, I really want to do more with my time so if I’m accepted into the College program I’ll be really happy! :smiley:

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It sounds like you are rocking it and getting things done… Congratulations on getting all that under your belt.

Happy belated birthday by the way. Very cool about the college classes.

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Thanks man, I appreciate it! These College folks have my Future in their hands so after not getting any chances I hope they will see some potential in me! :heartpulse:

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“Sneaky brain thinking” avoidance pretty much sums up how I’m doing now as well. I’m doing pretty good aside from that. It’s been a very restful break that I’ve been enjoying a lot. Sleep in, play with cats all afternoon volunteering, then spend the rest of the day doing whatever I want.

Sadly summer session starts Tuesday…oh well…

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As you may have noticed I was not okay last night. I woke up two hours ago and my meds have kicked in. I wrote the introduction for my thesis, and once my mentor and the lab manager read it I will write my proposed methods for the IRB.

I feel like ■■■■ man. I do well, I don’t always feel well. It looks like I am well. I am messed up but I am proud of being very outstanding given what is wrong with me.

I’m looking at PhD programs. I make the cut for decent but not top tier schools. That is something I have going for me.

Today is leg day but my negative symptoms are flaring up. I’m gonna make myself do it. It took me an hour to get out of bed today. I read my manuscript to boost my self esteem a bit. I think it’s well written. I wake up needing my morning Geodon and I just read my work to show myself who I am, not what is wrong with me.

It’s sort of shitty man. My girlfriend broke up with me last weekend and I’m lonely and want to drink and smoke but I quit both of those destructive pastimes three weeks ago. I did cave in and drink the day she broke it off. My friend and his girlfriend took me to our favorite bar and he paid the tab, I’ve done the same for him and he reminded me of it.

I’m just feeling ■■■■■■ up. I am ■■■■■■ up. I admit it.

I need to get my intense lifting routine in (you’ve seen how seriously I take that stuff) and relax today. Last night I was just out of my mind. I hadn’t slept well the night before. Like three hours.

I don’t know dude. I carry a bit of power due to my academic performance and physical strength and social skills. It comes with responsibility. I’ve been in a study on highly functioning people with this illness and a publishing company is going to fly down here and make a short documentary featuring me, mouse! Like I said, I do well, I don’t always feel well.

I don’t know when to stop talking. I guess I will exercise like hell today to get my ■■■■ out. Leg day and then boxing. Then I’ll probably see if any of my friends want to hangout. They know me as a person, not a schizophrenic, they saw me grow up and fall and then recover. They understand.

It’s inspiring to see you holding up despite what you endure, and your past is remarkable. You went from homeless to healthy. You beat the odds.

I hate having to throw in the towel some days. Like today. I have a little fight in me, just enough to do my workout. I look at all of the stacks of books and articles around me and realize that they got me here, my insight is what keeps me afloat. I can’t even focus enough to read a whole chapter or article right now. Well maybe an article, if it’s about a construct I am familiar with.

Sorry to vent. Things have been rough. Yesterday was a hell of a day. I still feel funny. My parents noticed how sick I was last night. My meds had worn off. I know that to be certain when the akathisia is gone. When my left leg doesn’t have tremors, and I’m hallucinating and thinking strangly and saying strange things, it’s nightmare time. I’m tensing said left leg up because the tremors as back. That’s what I’m happy about right now.

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Your regiment sounds very good for you, and your body and mind respond well to it. I hope you are feeling better. As you know I have a hard time keeping to my physical work outs, but I’ve decided I want to love running again, not just do it for a work out, so my dog and I are running in the grass at the a park and in the shade, goofing around, playing. My knees hate the sidewalk, and I know i know that Shel Silverstein wrote that book, but I hate the sidewalk too, espeically in the summer, grass is the best.

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Had two weeks of doing grad photos. All customers are happy. All cheques cleared the bank. Currently noshing on walnuts and celery with hummus while packing for my last 4H cooking project this evening. I’m teaching the kids how to make ice cream, ice cream cakes, and Shirley Temple floats. Also a fake ice cream which is blended frozen strawberries and frozen bananas for the one poor kid who is a severe diabetic. Hoping that last recipe turns out.

The tough part of tonight will be staying out of the ice cream. The diet I’m on has its weight loss shut down for four or five days by any type of refined sugar. So I’m gonna be walking a tightrope later this afternoon. Plan to commiserate with the diabetic girl. :wink:

10-96

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Just staying home, trying not to consume too much(very little actually)also not move much, just listening to music, on the tablet, enjoying being awake during the day, reflecting

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I like walnuts too and I eat them with cranberries, cuz the taste is pretty bland.

Happy Kid Night!

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I thought you were having a rough go when I was reading some of you post yesterday… I’m glad your back on track and starting to feel better.

Good luck

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I just did my leg routine and boxed a little bit. I treated the bag like a real fight and just ■■■■■■ it up and then my heart rate got way too high.

I guess I still have it in me.

I don’t really get it. I can even interact socially while at my worst these days. I talked to some people in the gym, one of them was someone I know. People would never guess that I have schizophrenia. They imagine someone else when they hear that diagnosis.

I can’t really do any more work on my proposal until the draft is reviewed by the grad student and my professor. I feel too tense to watch anything. Maybe I will watch a war movie, those are good for when I feel agitated.

I just burned like 1200 calories at least and I’m not in the mood to get food. I have a little fat covering up my lower abs. I’ll just sustain on that and my supplements for lunch.

I just feel blank in the head but I’m seeing red.

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That’s better then me… haven’t even swam in two days… I’ll make sure to go tomorrow.

Tonight I have to try to put things right with my girlfriend.

I got all paranoid and stupid and accused her of cheating on me with two people… because I found two new numbers I didn’t recognize in her phone… it turns out… One number is MY new number that I haven’t bothered to memorize… so all these times I thought she was calling a man behind my back… she was actually calling me.

The other number is her Grandma who finally got a phone to get with the times… sometimes I hate my brain.

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It’s okay to hate what it wrong with us. The crucial thing is hating your brain, not your mind. I hate my brain but I love what it can ■■■■ out when asked to. I hate the madness but I love the rest of it.

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Leg day Is usually a bit more than other days In terms of physical expenditure.

I can’t wait until I can start lifting again, I have golfers elbow really bad so I was doing lower body work that didn’t incorporate the flexing of the arms so much I was doing hack squats and deadlifts until I started looking like a pear.

So I think ill just wait awhile until I can get back into the full routine.

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Well, some people might think I made a mistake doing this but I cashed in part of my 401K plan to pay bills. I had run up my credit cards and that was hanging over my head for a few months. So I withdrew $4500.00 and paid off $2700.00 in credit card debt. Now I have $3000.00 in my checking account to do what I want with.
AND… I just got off work and since Monday is a holiday I don’t have to be back until Wednesday! And most of the soldiers took today off so it was a kickback, slow, easy day today at work with the building practically empty.

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no ice cream for you…back away pixel :smiling_imp:
take care :alien:

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sorry you are finding it hard…
as for me…i smell like a flower :sunflower:
and i have been excercising for 7 months + :running:
my symptoms are lessening, though i get a few angry spikes, :boom: mrs sith really appreciates those…!?! :imp:
take care :alien:

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Hi yes credit debt is never good and we are reaching the age where theIRA is in sight.

Just remember if you cash in early, you owe the penalty up front that they take out of your withdrawal. But don’t forget to save money to pay the increased tax bill. The money is added to your earnings and taxed as regular income.

Just mentioning this as my husband did this without asking and spendt all the money and stuck me with the bill as he never has enough money to pay taxes when he works a little bit off the books instead of getting a real job.
Sorry if my bitterness is showing.