Most people thought I was hidden genius, least a lot of people said along those lines and alluded to that: even till 18, comments were made of he seems “smart”
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I was a fairly smart child but often very shy and socially withdrawn.
I was mentally, physically, and sexually abused at a very young age.
I excelled at science and art in grade school but was still very shy.
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I had or have mild autistic symptoms combined with mental illness. No diagnosis until high school. Didn’t get schizophrenia until 22 years old at college from my marijuana. Other than that, I hated my life. People have it worse than me I know, but the schizophrenia type I have is debilitating and hard to deal with and is literally getting progressive I think.
They thought I had ADHD growing up. Life started going down hill at age 5 when my parents divorced and then age 7 when I got stuck with my dad after my mom remarried. My dad gots some mental illness and anger issue most likely some type of narcissism and OCD.
Life got better at community college and no surprise, after I moved back in with my mom. I had depression, poor social skills, clumsiness, no friends, and anxiety, and mild paranoia growing up and that combined with low blood pressure ruined my chances of being a pilot. I wanted to be a pilot I guess, but that never worked out. My grades sucked and my parents were loving but sort of messed up themselves. I think I’m lucky my mom married into ‘wealth’ but that turned out to be not much and didn’t last long…she cannot cope without her religion and barely makes ends meet. My step-dad has his own problems, but in some ways is better than my own biological father.
I ended up getting on meds for a bit and was hospitalized in high school for an eating disorder, depression, and not attending school. I also had behavioral problems too.
I probably have the schizophrenia curse that seems to be attached to my soul-consciousness in all realities. I don’t understand or get it either. I’m sure there’s a scientific explanation but it’s hard to see or grasp.
Part of me wanted to join the military or that was my only option, and college was a way to be an officer, but glad I didn’t do it and wouldn’t have made it because of family mental illness and genetics.
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When I was young they never considered mental disorders, you got whipped with a leather belt on your bare ass, often for stuff you had no control over
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I showed zero signs of illness until age 30.
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I cant say I had a good life. Bad divorce, family issues, sister was brought in to see a doc after skipping school lots and stuff. Im sure I wasnt ok and didnt socialize much.
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I was suspected of being autistic a psychriatist said im not autistic as a child i used to heard ghosts and stuff moving during the night i had some bad stuff going on later in life was prescribed fluoxetine when i was 18 years old and started hearing alot of voices after doing magic mushrooms for the 7th time at 22.
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I was a bouncing off the walls wild kid. Parents didnt want to give me medications.
When i was 14 i remember voices telling me to jump off a ferry when i was on it.
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Oh i also used to see skeleton figures in my room in the corner at night and id be too scared to go to the bathroom when i was like age 8-9 But dont kids imagine things alot when there young?
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Sending you extra gentle hugs.
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After my sexual assault as a ten year old I shut down. Didn’t care about school after that and had to be put in Special Education for years and years. I was chronically depressed as a teenager. My parents were too busy hating themselves and each other to notice how bad I really was.
I always knew something was off with me. Just didn’t have the words to ask for help.
-S
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I was normal until 35,after that I was totally psichotic very very paranoid
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You do remarkably well. Thanks for opening up. That takes guts.
I am so sorry that you had a troubled childhood.
I’m glad you’re here. You are a stand up guy, in a very good way.
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Why thank you Trish.
The world is a vampire…sometimes it sucks.
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my folks were weird they had me in boxing at 5 years old , they then put me in singing and dance and modeling for the money later i became a magic performer and did shows did cub scouts boy scouts, indian guides, and 4H, got a job after mom’s divorce i toke on a 2 job at 12 years of age, plowing the fields on a farm and a news paper route for a half a small town, were my childhood i didn’t get one. only two set back as a child one a stroke, and two suicidal depression from Drugs.after therapy and recovery i was a teen.
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Oh!my father was alcoholic all his life,this could affect me
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sorry to hear that my step dad was too and my mom diviorced him
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so was my real dad drink like a fish tell he died
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I hallucinated had paranoia and delusions as a child. People just thought I was weird and imaginative.
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When I was very young, and being physically abused by my father, I used to play with my completely flat, undeveloped breasts both alone and in public. I was like 2 or 3 and didn’t know any better. And all attempts by my mother to stop it were futile.
When I became prepubescent, I started masturbating both privately and publicly. My father noticed this and it must have turned him on because he started sexually molesting me at this time. My mother must have noticed too but she knew from experience that if she tried to dissuade me from a neurotic habit, I would only increase it.
When I was a teenager, I became anorexic. I was 5’8.5" tall and 115 lbs. Later, I became a severe bulimic and I weighed 120 lbs.
It was probably for these reasons that my father used to call me “odd, strange and weird”.
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