Schizophrenia.com

What was ur worst episode and do u still believe in it?

#1

mine was thinking i was telepathic with family, my kids and neighbours and friends. their voices were exact replicas of the real people and were so nasty to me. i cried for months and was terrified that i’d actually harmed the people i care so much about. luckily it didn’t last longer than 6 months both times it happened but it was very scary. now i rarely hear their voices as i don’t believe in their telepathic abilities. it’s almost as if my twisted mind has surrendered to my logical brain on that score. now i just hear famous people mostly but i don’t believe in them either so i’m doing ok right now how about u?

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#2

My worst episode was over a year ago, i was delusional with false memories, i thought a guy i know has poisoned me, and the poison slowly going to effect my body, and i was receiving telepathic messages from law enforcers that i should be the one to shoot him or else his going to poison every person he encounters, but i hold myself back because i didn’t want to be arrested. Thanks to my family they told me that its my psychosis and in couple of days my delusions subsided and i realized that its a delusion, but my false memories were so convincing because i could remember a lot of conversation where he mentioned that he is going to do that, but all those memories are false. I had other false memories without delusion but thats easy i ask people that i trust if those memories are true, and if its not i try not to think about it and it goes away.

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#3

Mine was about 14 years ago, There was the ghost of a woman who inhabited an old abandoned park on a mountain overlooking town and she was intensely melancholy because she was mourning the death of her lover, she was often crying, and she appeared within my mind’s vision to be bluish an wearing a flowing gown of some kind, so I nicknamed her The Blue Lady. I would go up there without my other friends specifically to hang out with the blue lady, and because of my depression at the time it was like we were supportive of eachother.

I believed that she inhabited a tree, and that many other trees in the valley were inhabited by the spirits of the dead, and that they were exerting a subtle control over the minds and actions of the living residents. During that period of time, I referred to my hometown as The Twilight Zone without being facetious.

I still believe the blue lady was a spirit, though sometimes I do not. I have had to become comfortable with believing one side or the other of some issue at different times, in my life.

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#4

In late 2007 I had a delusion that I still somewhat suffer from today. The story is I believe that there are two individuals in America, one of which reads my mind. I believe they are there for a religious purpose (giving their time to God). I was born on Friday April 13th (also a full moon!) so I believe I was selected at birth to be the individual whose mind would be read. The reason there I’m being read is it’s the only thing that keeps them there (so they know God still wants them there).

I’m freaked out by my date of birth in my delusion, as it’s very real, and makes me think there may be two people there in america.

I go back and forth between believing and not believing. The fact that I haven’t experienced any success medicating my voices also indicates my voices may have been put there permanently by God.

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#5

I have two delusions that have never and most likely, will never leave me. I use them as a gage now for when I’m not doing well.

Both of these are deep, but one is not that destructive and has worked out fairly well. The other…. My worst… is all about kidnappers. I’ve been fighting kidnappers nearly all my life thus far.

The time and energy I’ve spent on training my kid sister and my youngest brother on how to escape kidnappers, how to assess a safe get away from every store or coffee shop we’ve ever been in. Teaching them how to used tinned food and coke bottles as a weapon. Teaching them brail as a code so they could leave notes if they were ever kidnapped. I even went so far as to repeatedly and physically hand cuff my kid sister to the belt loops of my jeans so she wouldn’t wander off and get kidnapped. My kid sis spent many of her toddler years handcuffed to my pants.

I would collect those milk cartons with the missing kids on them and make her read them all so she would know that everyone was a kidnapper. My swan song psychotic break that landed me in hospital at 17 involved me “saving” my kid sis from brain washers and kidnappers. (In reality, it was her little grade school)

I broke into a neighbors house a 1:00 a.m. during his little daughters slumber party to get my sister back because I was sure he was kidnapping all the kids. He wouldn’t let me see her when I knocked on the door the for the 5th time. So I was sure he was a kidnapper too.

I’ve done some very stupid things involving my paranoia and delusions about kidnappers. To this DAY if I’m not doing well and I’m sort of crumbling… I’m right back there. Last month I was tapered over to Geodon for a while, and with no Seroquel… I was right back with the kidnappers.

I was convinced that my sis wasn’t late due to traffic or stopping at the market… it was kidnappers. I was sure of it. I misplaced her in an art gallery last month when she died her red hair, goth black. I didn’t recognize the black hair so I was sure she was kidnapped. I went and had her paged to the front. I told the curator that MY kid was missing. Someone napped my kid. So they searched the building and made the announcement “will little R.M. please come to the toy corner at the front doors… you’re Daddy is very worried.”

They were so confused when they saw she was 17. She was confused because she was wondering why our Dad showed up and was paging her to the toy corner.

Here in Washington State we have “Amber Alerts” which is sort of broadcast of the emergency system when a kid is actually kidnapped. Since My sis and I both work for the city, that alert will hit our phone. That really doesn’t help me. I always end up calling my sis and making sure it wasn’t her. (It never hurts to check)

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#6

Mine were not negative delusions to be honest…

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#7

My delusions started 5 years ago. I thought I had an implant in my brain and that my subconscious was being used as a storage device for government secrets and that in constantly watched by spies. I also believed I’m the guardian if the different time planes, I stand on all planes. These are my most engrained delusions and I have yet to challenge these in depth and so they remain with me others like alien communication and telepathy or controlling the weather are just like really vivid memories some good, some bad. I still get the occasional thought that takes over my life but I can challenge them now. I’m still waiting with my worker to challenge the big delusions as my voices are still prominent and they are connected with it.

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#8

I thought I was being watched and all of my conversations were recorded by bugs put in dashboards and peoples phones. I thought “they” were making a TV show out of my schizophrenic life, like that movies The Truman Show. I got drunk and violent and was taken to a crisis assessment center by 7 cops for the night. I didn’t sleep at all, I just stared at the clock. One of my friends had a bigass knife in his pocket, i found this out when I drunkenly gave him a hug, and then I got super ■■■■■■■ paranoid and thought I was about to be assassinated.

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#9

my first psychosis in 2000, was me and the devil destoryed the world i had a hallucination of the devil in ape form a beast… and i was going to hell for it, the voices said i was johan from the bible and would suffer tens of 1000s different types of death in hell, i was convinced i was in hell i was convinced i was dead, i begged a man in the hospital for forgiveness i thought he was god, my fear levels were so intense voices hallucinations delusions to the MAX my whole reality was crippled … i jumped out of a window so i was tied to the bed for my own safety and others safety, i was strapped to the bed for a day and a half, i felt hell in my heart and my reality was the real hell at the time… all this happened on a holiday in tenerife, a holiday island of the coast of africa,… my whole life was smashed into a million pieces

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#10

…in the psychosis i tried to hang myself looking back i was about to hang myself and this person appeared and simply said don’t do it looking back i think it was a angel because it disappeared and then, tried to jump off a banconly 8 story apartments but i was pinned down by my friend he pinned me down for 30mins…this was on a holiday in tenerife…
then later back in hospital in ireland i was gonna stab myself i was going to fall on a knife i had thoughts of suicide back then a lot…

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#11

My brother had put a part of me inside of a pipe, i was to be controlled and used by it.

There were souls living in my mom’s trinkets.

A man on television had been resurrected from the dead.

They controlled the weather.

My brother had shapeshifted.

The kitchen light fixture appeared without anyone seeing it happen.

They told me that if i didn’t do anything that my family would be harmed, i did nothing not knowing what to do and they said that was it, i had just harmed my family greatly.

As the television was turned off for the night i heard my brother say “it’s your fault now.” As if some great crime had been placed on my shoulders and i was to be blamed for it.

I saw three women walking down a beach on t.v. I thought that they were ancient and horribly evil entities, very powerful as well.

After driving across country i ended up at a bridge, i thought the bridge was not finished and that when you got to the edge you either were taken up or would fall down, and that was it, very final.

While driving into the dark forest on my way out of the beach area i thought of mephisto, he was there with me i think i thought.

I thought someone was in the back seat on my way to the beach, an entity.

I threw away my things, i even tried to leave my car, my music, my guitar, i just threw it all away because i believed it was all evil in different ways.

Several times i tried to die, leave the world. Once i went into a city and just was going to stay there until i fell down dead. Once i went to the top of a pyramid that i randomly found and was going to just sit there until dead. And once tried to leave my car and go into the wilderness until i was dead, i would just keep walking until i feel down. Needless to say all three times the fear over took me and i could not continue.

Certain things were pointed at at certain times. Like the word “spirits” on the side of a restaurant, it’s like someone was pointing and yelling at it when i looked. And a dragon on a video game, when it would show up the same things happened.

All of these things were caused by someone speaking in my mind and body, when i compile all of the wierd thoughts and hallucinations it became obvious, this is caused by someone and not something.

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#12

I also remember thinking my grandmother, who was dead at the time, was looking at me through a video game.

It was creepy and unsettling, and untrue.

Why would they tell me my dead grandmother was there?

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