What to do now,how i am gonna to live a full and happy life?

I get sicker again without meds…I saw my pdoc, she wants my to try small doses of the ap which suits me best-zyprexa… but I cant think when I am on big doses. if it happens again on small ones? in fact without meds I start screaming to my mom, I get angry and I suffer emotionally…who is on small doses here?its such a pity,i don’t go out since years already…I wanna live normally,have feelings etc… my mom tells me now that Ill never go out with friends. and this kind of things make me angry. I know its not right but she is desperate for me I think…

I take 10mg of Zyprexa a day, don’t know if this is a small dose but am assuming it is. I feel ya on the struggle of not wanting to take meds. I don’t like being on high doses or too many different meds. Right now I’m taking Zyprexa, klonopin and some anti-depressant. The klonopin I feel no efffect from whatsoever unless I don’t take it.

My mother is such a hypocrite I have to say, they get so upset when I go off meds but then she won’t take anything stronger than a low dose of aspirin for the life of her. When I turn it around on her and face her with that she just goes silent because she knows she wouldn’t take her meds if she was diagnosed with whatever it is she should have been.

Sounds like your mother needs to sftu. Like just maybe you get angry and scream at her because she is antagonizing, not just because you’re having symptoms.

i start really suffering… ill try with a small dose of ap in fact… I am so angry at my mom right now… since I know her,she made from me a robot… she wants from me to clean my house,she says all the women do that and that the men like this… after that, she told me more than once that ill never be happy with this illness… I hate her right now… really… how could you wish that to your daughter??? but ok,i am helpless,i cant manage with this… maybe she isjust desperate… I am in the psychtiatry since 7 years and I even cant go out with friends even medicated… lack of motivation, lack of pleasure,fear…
thanks for the answer turnip but I suffer really. I tried without meds for a month and a half now…this evening,i took my ap… in fact my schizophrenia is quite strange…I don’t have psychotic episodes but its some kind of chronic thing… I have a terribles headaches and I start vomiting in the day…and I don’t think this is the withdrawal :(…I cant go out from the bed,i wanna just to sleep only… that’s all… and I am miserable. maybe a small dose could be a solution no?

No sorry, I wasn’t trying to say that you don’t suffer, but just that your mother is not helping with her crappy attitude.

I relate on some level because my mother also has issues and can be very antagonizing when she gets into her moods, and trying to cope with MI symptoms and a dysfunctional parent (who you need for support) at the same time, can be very overwhelming.

This is pretty normal. Sorry. :frowning:

That’s usually the best approach – take the lowest dose you can function on and find strategies to deal with the leftover symptoms.

That’s pretty normal. I have the same problem.

I’m living normally enough that most of the people who know me don’t realize I’m mentally ill. The eccentricities I have are usually attributed to me being an ‘artist’. I’ve got friends, I go places (just got back from a trip to the city, actually). It all started with being med-compliant. Meds are the foundation to build your recovery on.

Best wishes.


oh,thank you both pixel and turnip.
turnip,so iam not alone to have a parent like this :smile:
what kind of artist are you pixel if its not indiscrete? me, I am the opposite,i am so low functioning that it sucks…ive had a time when I envied the artists because of their creativity and imagination,now I know this is futile and that I should love myself as I am :slight_smile: plus the fact that I had a father who was probably sick also,dont know anymore, but he hated all the artists and the sportists… he was saying that they are stupid and I was believing it…what a family that I have no? :/… ive wanted to be the perfect child,so I ended up here…
otherwise,pixel, what do you think about my headaches and the vomiting? can this happen in schizophrenia? its to a point that I barely have rthe energy to go to the bathroom… but my apcalmed me down a little bit, I get really anxious also without it I guess…

As far as headaches and vomiting go, I have those, but only when certain symptoms get really bad.

If my voices get out of hand I get massive headaches that put me in bed for days on end, the head aches get so bad I start puking which makes the headache hurt more which makes me puke ect.

And as for parents who aren’t very supportive? my mom treats me like a burden, and my stepdad, as much as he tries, sees me as a waste of time because I never seem to get better. My bio dad left me before I was born, but made an attempt to get back in my life shortly before my diagnosis, after I was diagnosed, he found out and stopped trying.

The is just as Pixel and thm said, a good foundation of meds, and you build it up from there. I was non functioning for a while, but now I am starting my new job on Monday and move to my new house this weekend.

I have a wonderful GF a great Roommate who I count as my friend, and my best friend and sort of adoptive older brother who drives 6-8 hous to see me when I have it rough.These are my walls, my meds just made the building of them possible

ok dremulf, I see… the vomiting is psychosomatic I guess… I don’t have voices neither hallucinations but I become agitated without meds, I cant stay calm in my bed,u just walk around the house cause my head hurts so bad…probably I have some thought disorder. at the time,i had some reallybad thoughts, I was really negative about everything also… I am sick as long as I remember myself…ive had the diagnosis of borderline also,but maybe I am really a schizophrenic with negatives symptoms mainly like my ex pdoc was thinking.
I am worried cause I talk really little since child…its some kind of dumbness…and I am not sure that meds can arrange this…I talk so few because I really cant think…and I feel so alone in this illness… my ex boyfriend was against my meds, he called me junkie for taking them…in my madness,i thought that I love him but in fact I cant feel love anymore…it was just a desire to be with him,thats all… and I was dependant for years on one schizo friend who is against meds also and wasn’t really supportive all the time. yeah,what a life of mine,i am really stupid…
in my worse, I think that ill always be alone because I take meds…I try not to think like this anymore…
on the other hand, my sister also told me once that with a diagnosis like this,i risk to be forever alone…cool hein? I wanna cry right now,i am a mess in fact…

Well stop with the self depreciating for one thing, that gets you no where.

Your ex was trash, short and simple and your friend was foolish at best, moronic at worst.

I have similar trouble with talking, I can type just fine, but when it comes to verbal communication you might have better luck with a clam.

Find some supportive people to be around, try to find a local support group, thats what I did.