ok. in the past she talked me against meds… she was taking them for a decade… she makes more in the positive symptoms i think… me,ive closed myself 13 years ago. there was weed, complete social isolation, my bachelor in sociology and some guys without anything serious though because of me sometimes and because of them… i am back on zyprexa, higher dosage this time-10 mg since 20 days… ive decided to struggle but i was saying this before also and it doesnt got better socially or in my mind 
otherwise my sz friend is still a bit crazy. she talks a lot,doesnt listen to others,i think she doesnt understand some things still…yeah,its her life but for me this is disappointing for mu future life… she has less fears than me i think with guys(for me now its a taboo) but one alcoholic boyfriend of her is telling her that she is crazy. voila voila
and also,for my ex i am just a psychopath and my sz friend is unhappy. if she is unhappy and me i am evil why all this meds for us? wow… sorry if i ask stupid and repetitive questions but for all this years i ve lost in sociability kisses
I would try to answer, but I really don’t understand what are you actually asking?
If you could get your friend here that would make the best of situation.
To be patently honest, not very many people are actually happy with their lot in life - certainly not a person with SZ. It’s like having cancer, and nobody who has cancer is genuinely happy about their prognosis.
This is all just making me feel happier & happier about death. Death is definitely going to be a day of happiness for me, for there is simply too much physical pain inside of this skull to deal with on a daily basis.
And being off of antipsychotics is not illegal - especially if there is no threatening behaviors coming out of the individual with a mental health issue. So people, like me, are extremely calm & reclusive in real life. I’m in too much pain to actually even conjure up the will to harm others…
probably i am not sure that i need my meds,thats why… ill give a try to zyprexa but is this med doesnt work should i stop trying all kind of that stuff? i tried everything for this 5 years,really
This is really not a question to strangers on internet. Only your psychiatrist can suggest what are your options.
thanks mistercollie… yeah,i know… i was one stupid cow when i met my ex… i was wearing a mask of happiness also,it worked in the begining but ive made mistakes with him and in the end,i was really mean… he saw me when i put my kilos with my first attempt on zyprexa… now i calmed myself down but i still have paranoia and a lot of fears plus body hallucinations…
ok,thnaks sarah. i see. i should visit her and talk more cause i dont talk a lot with my pdocs,i even dont know why. probabbly because i was thinking that they can see my problems just with one look yeah…