I think ill go to see one another pdoc. But for my mom, ill never recover, ill never have a job or a family. she wants from me just to be more independent and to help her more, yeah…
Idk if my negatives or depression are drug induced… if they are drug induced, can an antidepressant help me to start to go outside more? can it ‘‘counteract’’ in a way the depressing effects of my Zyprexa and Depakote? i dont go out sometimes because of the paranoia, sometimes because of my low mood and the lack of positive emotions. I remain also sometimes jealous of others lives. I still find it unfair that i have it so hard even though that i try to accept my situation. But i dont see people for months,people… Just my mom…
Hugs, Anna. Sorry I don’t have any words today. It’s a BAD day here, too. Things will get better. Pls keep posting. It’s always good to see you on the forums.
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Grrh, i am really tired of this life of a dog… come on, its not normal to live like me. Its not normal that people dumbed me just because i am will. I am so ugly or crazy or what? why i am like this for god sake???
i guess i should remain on my Depakote and Zyprexa and wait to see if they help me or what? somebody who was so passive and meds helped him on this? I guess i dont socialize cause i dont feel pleasure anymore…
i just post here and nobody doesn’t read me anymore… or you dont care i guess. just like my sis…
I read. I care.
ok, thank you dear. but why i am so ■■■■■■■ jealous all the time? some of you should laugh on me i guess…
3 months on 10 mg is probably few to see an improvement no? idk… idk if i can get better just sitting here but i dont want to move a lot neither lol.
I need my Depakote though i find. I took it now in the evening, it calmed me down a bit…
shitty illness, ill try to accept my situation…
NEVER do I laugh at you, Anna. If some people do laugh at you, Anna, that is their problem, not your’s. Don’t pay attention to the haters, ever.
@Anna1 I just want to tell you, you have to live your life
to the best of your abilities and the way you see fit;
Don’t let your mom dictate terms for you;
The way the world is headed with automation and AI there in any case won’t be many jobs to go around;
Just try to find things that interest you and stick to them;
The important thing for you is to devise methods to successfully pass the time;
You have to develop the means to survive;
That’s the most important thing;
A job and family- only if you can and want it;
Otherwise if you can’t or don’t want to or both, it is pointless to think about these things.
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Nice post!! 151515151511515
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My mom is ultra hard with me. You could never handle her either chess. She said that i shouldn’t have dreams… That ill never have anything in life. do you have a mom like this? i am not sure yours is like this… she wants from me to help her more while my sister even doesn’t help her… Dont i have a right of a happy life? For my mom, ill be forever ill so i should also accept it yeah…
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ill try to not think about a family or a job right now, ok…
i guess its not nice to hate my mother now but i am around her since an eternity…
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It’s ok, Anna. Mother/daughter relationships can be a challenge.
Yes, you have a right to a happy life, Anna.
@Anna1 I want to ask you, can you live independently?
Because if you can, and your mother is hard on you,
you can try to move out;
Do you get disability benefits?
If you use them strategically you might be able to survive on your own;
Like to live with partners to cut costs and use public transportation;
Or is it too much for you?
I guess it is but as a sort of plan/dream for the future it sounds good no?
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Your mum does sound hard. But remember hard people can be brittle and snap easily. So let’s us bend in the wind.
I don’t go out either. Sometimes it bothers me, sometimes not. Try to let it not become a dominating thought.
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i live alone in an apartment of mine. Idk, i am dependant on her in my head i find… To stop seeing her will be like a declaration that i really hate her. I try to avoid that… I can be quite cold in the life now so i guess i am not easy either chess…plus, i wont start going out more even i i dont see my mother daily…i am ■■■■■■ up in my head, that’s all…
thanks jimbob, yeah, its strange to be like this with the going out…
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Quote: "i live alone in an apartment of mine"
WOW !!
And you complain about your life?
It is a DREAM to live like this!
You are the envy of the forum!
@Anna1
The most important thing in this world, Anna, is to be happy in your skin. You are not obligated to socialize or have a job or friends. But you must pursue inner peace, this is vital.
Try to decide what do you really need in order to feel better ? And have the courage to fight for that, even if it’s hard at first.
We all love you and we are very sad because of your situation. But how can we help you? Tell us!
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I don’t really think you are jealous of others but of their happiness and energy. Helping others be happy with also make you happier.
I’m taken as jealous because of my social anxiety.
This is perceived by other as jealous but it’s really like a fear and confusion thing.
Andrey, dear, help me to understand my symptoms better if you want to help me. This can help me i guess.
For example, i spent now again 3 hours of so much thinking ‘‘how i am gonna get through this life’’ that even my body gets tensed. Is it a tough symptom? I have no other thoughts i find in those moments…Is it a bad state this? It hurts my head this overthinking. But its not a good overthinking, no great ideas in those moments. I really start to feel myself as an retarded person, idk…
Ill see if in the day i am better on this. I started again my proper dosage of Depakote. you should have seen me without it today… i couldn’t even sit, i become agitated and very dumb without it…
you say that the main thing is to be happy even without friends or people but i am not sure that this is possible. I live in isolation since 16 years Andrey and i find this is pure hell…
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Anna, Can you ask your pdoc about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)? I have been diagnosed with OCD - specifically obsessive thinking.
ok, ill ask him. You all motivated me here to go see a good doc once again. I dont wait for miracles anymore but my current doc isn’t very effective, idk… I also want to have a third opinion about my diagnosis - if its borderline or schizophrenia idk…like you say, i shouldn’t count so much on docs either but it will be good to talk to a good doc.
did it got better your ocd tomasina?