What might the pdoc say/do if I tell them this?

DX'd - Other
1

I’m seeing a pdoc on Tuesday- never seen this one before.

Some things I am going to say to him/her:

  • My mind is being taken over by someone/something. They do a lot of my thinking for me. They do this via electrical signals. I feel them in my brain sometimes.
  • The main message they have for me is that I am not supposed to be in this world. They are here to take me out of it.
  • They have programmed people to falsely see me as a happy and functional lady. Even if I tell people I am suicidal, they think I am happy.
  • If I continue to disobey them, I will have to do bad things to the programmed people.
  • If I obey them, they will stay with me whilst I’m dying because they know I am scared.
  • At the end of the day, I have a choice if I want to be here or not. Clearly I am not supposed to be. If I listen to them, no innocent humans will have to be harmed.

Is there anything here that I shouldn’t say to the pdoc? It is the truth but I think they will try to guilt-trip me as if I still have any emotions left anyway. I don’t even feel anxiety anymore.

For anyone who thinks I am delusional, here is my proof that people have been programmed:
I have told multiple professional people that I am being told to end my life and I will. What have they done? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
I won’t get locked up, therapy can’t block these signals, meds will give me tardive dyskinesia and neuroleptic malignant syndrome.

2

They will probably prescribe you meds.

You should take them. The chances of you getting TD is extremely low on newer APs and they’re going to monitor you for side effects. Let them weigh you and take blood and such.

If you’re thinking of dying, and that that would be better than TD, you’re not thinking clearly.

3

I have told my doctors a lot of information and usually its my therapist that tells my pdoc information that she feels he should know.

I told the therapist about self harming ( I punch my self in the head or I pick at my skin till I bleed) the pdoc raised the amitriptyline and lithium.

I hope you get the help you need from this pdoc, I know it can be a little worrisome for you to see the pdoc wondering what they are going to do.

4

I will not allow myself to be weighed by them as that is highly confidential information.

If he/she suggests medication, I will raise my concerns about the side effects and also point out to the pdoc that they should take the medication too because they have been programmed.

5

Just take your meds. For 3 years i was convinced aliens would harm me if i took meds. I was out of my mind and in constant fear. It got so bad i went on meds as a last resort. I thought the meds were going to kill me but i couldn’t take the pain of being sick anymore. Guess what? I feel so much better on meds !!!

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6

Did you find that the higher dose helped you?

Yeah I guess I am worried because I don’t know what they will do.
I am worried about how programmed they will be as well.
Usually, their answer to everything is to just phone my parents about it so they can “keep me safe” but I always fake being fine around my parents so it’s useless.

7

tell them everything you said. they will help you. It is not much of a life to go around with your delusions. You deserve a better life. meds will help you. And you might not get any side effects. i don’t

8

I don’t want to live like this anymore but I also can’t can’t imagine life without it, if that makes sense?

A different pdoc I saw last time didn’t believe what I was saying, telling me that nothing I was saying “adds up” and that my symptoms might be because of a heart/thyroid condition or epilepsy, wtf!!!
Then she prescribed me quetiapine without even saying what it does or what the side effects are. I haven’t even picked it up from the pharmacy because I don’t trust her/them.

If the new pdoc tries to give me meds, I will question their choice so that I understand what is happening and also to make sure they are 100% human and not programmed.

9

It’s up to you, but if you’re concerned about weight gain, maybe letting them weigh you would be good. It is, in fact, confidential, there are HIPPA laws in the US.

Your doctors aren’t programmed. If they’re prescribing you antipsychotics (which they are) they don’t think you’re making it up. They don’t hand those out like candy.

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10

I grew up with mental illnesses. Both my parents and my brother are mentally ill. They don’t care if i show symptoms or not.

The higher dose of amitriptyline helped me sleep last night but i think it’s too early to tell about the lithium.

I have had some pretty crummy pdocs. One said after she put me on fanapt that i shouldn’t be hearing voices still.

11

I’ve been on quetiapine 400 x 2 daily for over ten years. Some people find it too sedating, but I can barely tell I’m taking it. I’ve also been on ziprazidone for over ten years. It controls my symptoms with few side effects. You might ask your pdoc to try you on that.

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