Well…I’m currently very alone and terrified of life, the world etc…
When I started posting on here I had moved back home into an apartment above my families garage to help as a member to start a clubhouse model program (look up ICCD clubhouse if your wondering what this is)
It’s been maybe a few years (they fly by so fast and only faster as I age…so don’t age if you can control it :)unamused:
It’s been a few years now I guess, something like that, and it’s been a horrific blur. I was never involved with the planning process of the club in the beginning stages (I absolutely could have been) and it just wasn’t right from the beginning. Something went wrong with basically every aspect of my life that I rely on for at least the illusion of comfort and support.
I don’t really know what to say here without making a long drawn out post so…so basically I’m extremely alone in a scary world right now, I’ve never successfully made it without the support of my family (at 33 ) I’m terrified, lost the support of clubhouse and have no idea why, my family drove me into the hospital (drove me insane is what) over the summer…if I’ve done something, anything to them…the only thing I can think of is that they know about some things I’ve posted online…I have no idea.
I’ve been living reclusively for so long, I feel I know nothing about the way the world is out there…or how to get by. I’d give anything I’ve got for a friend right now…I’m serious anything. But they’ve all moved on with their lives…even the most recent just gave up and left.
The guy in me hates to say it, but i’m actually just such a damn sensitive soul that I will…I cry off and on nearly always now. I have a big orange cat who I live with…I’m in dire straights to get entirely off my families support and yet can’t as they’ve made it in so many ways impossible.
So…basically my life is impossible and I’m hurting more than I ever have in my life right now.
Sucks is what.