I definitely don’t think I have PTSD. But I have some weird reactions to people approaching me or trying to touch me.
My dad sexually abuses me/verbally/emotionally abuses me and my mom borderline does it as well. Whenever they walk past me, close to me, or especially behind me, I hold my breath, tense up, and my heart goes racing. I think “Please don’t touch me, please leave me alone”
At school, I would get visions of people trying to attack me which would send me into a panic. Mostly though, people will approach me and I’ll freak out. Today my sweater string swung in the corner of my eye and I panicked because I thought it was someone coming to attack me.
I cannot let people touch me. No one. I will shiver or have convulsions and blank out, usually becoming paranoid or depressed. Sometimes I allow it, but I don’t feel affection. Most of the time it feels painful.
But I can’t have PTSD because I haven’t had anything traumatic happen and I don’t have any nightmares about this. Maybe once or twice, but I’ve forgotten about it until now. I’ve been like this for the past three years
Sexual abuse is traumatizing regardless of whether it was actual rape or not. You need to stop diminishing your own experiences. This is why so few kids seek help. They have an idea in their head of what abuse looks like, and since their abuse doesn’t fit what they think abuse looks like, they assume it’s not actually that bad. But it is that bad.
u are having a biological response of fear, due to trauma probably, after being bullied i would get super anxiety at school and in streets generally, and people would sense it and attack me due to my weakness. this inspired me to try to get buffed lately, i never like workout, but world is a jungle, and being strong helps to make people not come at u most times, even tough im not a fighter.
The reason why you don’t want people to touch you or go near you is probably because your parents abused you. And the things your afraid of are similar to the abuse that you endured.