What is the funniest things you have ever done

Mine may have been when I called the electricity company and asked how much a coffee maker uses electricity, a woman in the electricity company checked their records and asked, does anybody live there because so little electricity was used? I said yes. At the time I did not have a computer, I used a microwave to make food and I always turned off lights when I did not need these and so on and so on. I thought it was funny. :smile:

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I was really drunk and started masturbating in a room full of guys. Im serious. Second was when I got violently drunk, but that was not really funny while it happened, more like scary, they sent seven cops. Third was when I got super retarded drunk and threw up on my friends carpet, then my friends took my clothes off and stuck me in a bathtub and splashed water on me while I said “Im not a whale, I dont need water splashed on me” and they all laughed and still remember when I said that

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One time I was really high and I kept trying to exit the operating system on my computer. I was like wtf why can’t I exit windows. And then I was like, “…oh ■■■■, I forgot you can’t close the operating system”. I was trying to do that for like 10 min.

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When I was at a family reunion I was getting tired of people asking “so what are you doing now?”
So I told them I’ve been dressing up as a clown at little kids parties for a living
they looked at me and went “oh thats…nice” .

That would be kinda fun though!

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i danced around papa johns where a friend works for techo music with a pen attached to my head because i though i was recruiting spies for the cia

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That’s amazing.

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I made my parents laugh when the first week i was out of the psyche ward and I was living in Sotreia House I went downtown and got myself a job. I was just doing what came naturally but the counselors and my parents were just amazed that I would even do that considering how sick I was.

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i almost got a few jobs, those voices were suave they told me what to say in the interview

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Most of the funniest things I’ve ever done are in actuality very sick so on second thought…I’ll just tell one of them.

I once convinced the lead guitarist of my band who was in love with my girlfriend…also in the band…to strip completely naked and run around my van at a stoplight…only we took off as he was making his lap around the van and went for a drive while he crouched naked in some nearby bushes…that’s the least sick of them I am willing to tell. Yes we came back for him…eventually.

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Reciting a 4 line joke poem for my poetry presentation in 7th grade. It was funny because I had no idea that it would be, and I was the class nerd straight A’s and it was completely out of character. I sure surprised the teacher. I still know it:

In the family drinking well
Willie pushed our sister Nell.
She’s there still because it kilt’er.
Now we have to buy a filter.

All I remember from 7th grade classes.

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I asked one of my earlier psychiatrist if he had a big ■■■■■.

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I bought a mini fridge on accident along with a microwave(on purpose) around 4 in the morning. I drove down the road manically laughing while drinking an energy drink + mountain dew. I think I wound up at a mcdonalds(which was closed), and I started yelling obscenities at the drive through window. By 7am it was time for class and I felt like jack bauer on some mission, except mine was to get coffee, ace my class, then write a computer program to pychologically interprit the descisions people make online and load in hoards of money though random methods. I was pretty much out-of-my-head psychotic. Needlesstosay, I did NOT ace the class and a month later completely dropped out.

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pob, you realize that there’s a whole genre of “little Wilie” jokes, right?

Alas for little Willie.
We’ll not see Willie more
for what he thought was H2O
was H2SO4.

Yes. I had a book with some of them in it. My parents kind of wondered what kind of book it was I had.

I think our times/cultures overlapped some.

Sometimes those CIA things have really happened, a recruiting consultancy company in Miami Beach approached me in 1998 and they wanted to send my info to one of their clients, a member of the US intelligence community. It took two months and then a CIA recruiter called me in Atlanta and interviewed on the phone and then later sent their interview questionaire to me for recruiting me to the clandestine services as a case officer, I never returned these forms. When they called me there was observable electronic disturbance in all electric devices such as TV. Sometimes ■■■■ just happens.

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That’s really really funny…“I am not whale” :smile:

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There are a lot of things I look back on and laugh. I feel there are a lot of Opps… funny in my life. Plus I tend to over react a lot about things and that puts me in an odd place at an odd time.

My fight with the banana mascot makes me smile when I think back on it. I really think that is my worst/best incident. Not many people get their butt kicked by a 6 foot banana mascot. I’m really glad my sis picked up all the coupons as the banana man and I were in a tussle… Free smoothies for almost a month.

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my dad has a top secret government security clearance. fact. that compounded with false memories of a conversation that he could offer me a job in the cia protecting weapons as a weapons specialist because i can speak spanish fluently, and im good with language only chose to push me deeper to believe the voices which half the time was in his voice. im unlucky schizo lol or maybe lucky because all my delusions were based on historical fact like MKultra and nanotechology using DBS like pulses to communicate with me learning material. plus hilary clintons book mentions she was worried about spy cameras in the electrical sockets inside her chinese hotel my internet would go out nightly each time comcast would come fix it, they found someone had used a splitter device in my cable outside. the below is what my dad has. the voices told me cia was a dummy organization and the spies work for the navy, army, etc in a nondisclosed branch ever since the red scare happened. the “real” Spy agencies are supposedly located in buildings that look like any other building, sometimes law office buildings or machine manufacturers. this was supposedly because nanotechnology has already been invented years ago by the military and if enemies found out we had such power like mics the size of bacteria other nations would want to send spies to copy our data. with this all your supposedly allowed to do is say is that you work for the govt or that you are a machine worker. the real works performed undergrou d in network like military bases.

once I was out getting drunk with my sister we were walking round town there were a group of about 14=25 kids all waiting for the buss being loud and noisy and a womena that looked totally fed up with these kids they were all younger kids so in my drunk state I shouted VIRGINS!!! at the top of my lungs and they look confused and the woman started pissinh herself laughing.

The night I wish I could forget. It was a few years ago. Money was tight very tight and it was payday. Disability pay day which comes in at night. I drove up to the shops and grabbed a few things and had planned to fill the car up on the way home. Totally forgot the car needed to be filled up as was running on empty. Drove home unpacked the shopping and realised I had left something at the checkout after putting a frozen pizza in the oven. So rushed back to the shops. Grabbed what I forgot at the counter but had already paid for it so glad I went back. But didn’t have time to fill up the car as had a pizza in the oven at home.

So after getting home eating the pizza. Thought OK I’ll go fill the car up as I’m wide awake. Car ran out of petrol just down the road short distance from my house. So grabbed the fuel can and started walking to fuel station. Filled up the can and walked back to the car. Where the car ran out of petrol is one of the darkest places it could be. So filling up I couldn’t see it wasn’t going in the tank. All the new cars have a sort of pressure point that has to pushed down for fuel to go in and I had forgotten this. So pretty much the fuel all went on the ground.

I’ve had it at this point so walked home but I’m fuming and couldn’t relax. So around 3am I gave up trying to sleep so thought I’d walk again to the station and buy a funnel this time. So did. A guy at the station offered me a lift being I’ve been up and down walking this stretch several times that night I accepted.

So the first thing that comes into my head is this guys going to take me to the ATM and tell me to withdraw all my cash. So I’m fighting the thoughts basically just putting it down I’m way overtired so spoke to him about my pitiful night.

So we get to my car and he starts going on about how many houses he has and his stories are getting way out of the norm. But he helped me put the fuel in the car and I made my escape ASAP.

Thought the best plan of attack was to drive to fill the rest of the car up ASAP as was only about $5.00 in it. As I was just about at the station flashing lights…It was the police! So I get out of the car.
Two police one says “The guy we just saw you with is know to us, Did he give you a package?”
Me “No!”
Can we search your car?
I’m panicking at this stage my minds going at million miles an hour wondering if the guy did put something in my car. But knew if I didn’t let them they seemed serious to make my life difficult enough to make me go the police station and do a full search there. Which would mean more time and of course I’m running on about $5.00 fuel. So I told them of my night etc they didn’t find anything and let me go.

Not sure what the moral of the story is but pretty much all my friends laugh their heads off when I told/tell them this.

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