What is humanity

Does anyone else on here struggle with not feeling human? That’s probably one of my most constant and ongoing delusions. It’s played a part in the birth of a lot of them I would think. Even as young as 5 I didn’t think I was…

It feels like I’m visiting here to do something. And then I’ll go back to wherever I came from once my mission’s done. And I’ve been here before, just different bodies…times…

But those are all just weird feelings that have been in me forever. I don’t understand them. Maybe they popped up because I never really connected with anyone around me. Or maybe it’s just a product of the psychosis. Who knows. Anyways I wouldn’t mind talking to someone who felt the same.

1 Like

I can relate to some of that stuff. You’d be surprised how common it is. These are more spiritual concerns and feelings. They are irrational but they are natural. Your definitely human though rest assured. Your probably just a little smarter then the others.

I feel like a lot of my problems ere on the spiritual side, the lines become blurred fairly easily I find.

Step into my consciousness, Anna, I’ll make you a believer, or that is the entity will.

I personally believe we are neurologically/psychologically divergent, Anna, and that could be why in part some of us were selected for this.

For some reason some schizos dont want a normal life. I think it is imperative that this be combated. Perhaps it gives you the frame of mind to accept the illness, which would be a good thing. That said if you do want a normal life experience disbelief is the most powerful tool.

As far a spirituality goes… There is no evidence of any real spirit. There is a strange layer of the mental abstract that creates the feeling of always being here. Imagination fills in the gap.

Atheism and realism are saving me from potential hallucinations, but that is just whats working for me. You both can choose to believe however you see fit. I guess how I can see that my beliefs might be a little bland for others who wish to entertain more.


I do believe we are psychologically divergent, but in no way were we selected. Chaos obviously dominates this place.

1 Like

Could be your instinct since age 5 - is right. Have you done any reading on such things?

Every time I try I just find things on that otherkin stuff. Which is not for me. I don’t think I’m some kind of elf or animal trapped in a human body. It’s just this…differentness.

I actually searched it again recently though and some therapy website said it was a coping mechanism. Hm. I just don’t know anymore.

I was once told by a psychic that I was a descendant of an archangel. I guess that would mean I am part nephilim. Thoughts…

I felt special for the first 23 years of my life… Now I know I’m not special or blessed at all. Actually I’m quite troubled. Some people do seem made for this world. Use your differentness to your advantage. It makes you unique. These things can change with time. You can make your experience whatever you want it to be. Just takes the ability to envision it and willpower to stick with it.

It doesn’t seem to be a question of do you want to feel this way… You are just acknowledging that you do. Do you want to feel different?

WOW maybe your psychiatrist needed to be seeing a psychiatrist too ahaha.

I don’t feel special. It’s frustrating to me. I have a hard time connecting with others. A lot of my issues are not relatable, I’ve found. My thought processes seem to work in a completely different way from others which is also very frustrating. I mean I guess it’s good to be different but it’s also incredibly lonely. I’ve been lonely most of my life, regardless of how many friends I’ve had.

Yeah I get that. Hoping with time you’ll be able to cope. I think your awesome from what you say on these forums. I’m sure many others here and in real life do as well.

I guess I’ve learned to ignore that I don’t really connect with people. I have also found though that if you have to try and be something your not to fit with other people it’s not worth it in the first place. True friends will stick to you, they’re out there.

Good luck Anna. I think your gonna be just fine.

If you ever want to chat just send me a message. I’m on this forum way to damn much as it is but I’m always looking for people to chat with.

Take care.

1 Like

You generalized that “schizophrenics” don’t want a normal life. I am not schizophrenic, and I have a fairly normal life. You suggest there is no evidence of a real spirit I am sure many people might agree with you, but many will also disagree including from all faiths, non-faiths, and diverse backgrounds. You say imagination fills the gap, maybe, but when you have four people witness the same phenomena then it gets interesting. I don’t think everyone leaves when they die. It’s been proven to me time and time again. Physically, mindfully, spiritually…I didn’t dream up or invent these experiences I had. I wasn’t seeking a spiritual answer, merely already aware of the potentials of the universe. Therefore it did not shock me.

I have yet to experience truly profound supernatural happenings. But I could list all that Ive experienced and probably write a book about this. Mainly, what I learned was the importance of the mind and body and spirit, through this force of nature that ascertains reality. Someone who is not diagnosed, told me they could see spirits- I asked what she saw she said she only sees what is behind a person and described my arch angel who was standing behind me :slight_smile: I have talked to the Great Spirit or God the Father who has given me advice and understanding and healing and wisdom.

God said “If only you knew your own strength”

Maybe God or an Angel, but God has a calm sort of booming voice and yet no voice at all, in the sense I can hear God without having to fill in the blanks.

When I am in tune with the spirit world they are very present. I had my first experience with clairaudience when a relative was in trouble, and I get ringing in my right or left ear to warn of danger or connection issues.

America was built upon religious freedom of expression I find it pathetic people want to oppress or suppress the views or reality of the nature of the soul.

It actually really upsets me that I cant simply tell people what I experienced or saw or heard without feeling fear of persecution or victimization. I could prove these experiences were real but found that simply does not work if a person is unwilling or unable to see the truth maybe people are in this subjective mindset or something.

When I tried to prove my paranormal experiences to my parents they thought I was in hysterics and vehemently denied my beliefs as radical. When I told my dad time was an illusion he asked if I had been taking my Abilify that day, every time I tried to go off medication my dad would attack me traumatize me and terrify me because he himself was terrified, and he was terrified of my power and knowledge. I was a brilliant child.

I have experienced the truth. Humanity has a mission, is a collection of souls who are making stepping stones across an enigmatic planet with mysterious origins many of which have been destroyed or hidden from us for time on end.

I have never actually seen a spirit as my friend has. I do not hear the spirits literally within me or externally, I don’t actually hear anything at all. I simply know how to connect, I’m very socially aware I have an emotional intelligence of 100 percent. I understand economics and the only difference for me being on medication or off is whether I want to further stifle my own intelligence or continue to stifle it pointlessly.

Pills have never had a tremendous effect on me other than discomfort, the real pain came from abuse and control, a lie of chemical dependency that humanity itself should still be asking this question is why. We are seen as criminals for being educated because many of us can punch holes through the corruption seen today and actually effing fix it, and fix the worlds problems. but screw it, lets all blow eachother up and engage in endless tyranny because Im sure by the time the end comes anyone really wants to help a broken humanity that WONT RECOGNIZE its own strength even when face to face with it.

Its whether you want to murder an innocent child on the street who is starving: walk away and she is murdered, murder her and feel pride knowing you cleaned up the streets of all the dirt of this world, or help her and realize she was the last child on earth who could have saved your son. I think schizophrenia is a joke when put in certain perspectives of totalitarian all might is right attitudes or the idea that you have to live this perpetual haze.

Screw that. I know what I experienced, if only you all knew! If only I could connect to others and feel less crazy. But I have fleeting glimpses of what was or will be perhaps…I have dreams of trekking across the sands, mars, statues, Ireland, Italy, Rome–well all the memories have a significance–I remember being Mary every single time. Im not ashamed or anything, Im just confused by it. I don’t feel like I was her, but I am drawn to her story and legacy. She was a disciple in a church in Northern Ireland a Nun during the persecution of religion by the Roman Church I think. I recall she is sitting in front of a tall statue and blue stained glass window, and writing in a large leather bound book her story, and then she is in exile or something, and the Deacon this man who wore a brown robe, I see him casting pages into the fire and rewriting parts.

I also saw 9 woman In a tropical forest, who were forbidden to cut their hair, and this beautiful comb she admired, and then I see this man named Christian–in Ireland or France who Mary with red hair was in love with–and the Roman Church was a hierarchy so they forbade the two to see eachother after the rise of the Empire, I just recall dancing and celebrations and music, lutes and flutes he had long flowing golden hair, curly, his name was Christian, he was descended from the Celts and Druids I think. I recall some of druids.

I recall sea monsters, the sinking of a ship by Japan or something–I was on that ship, I was in love with a sailor and I died for my love. We wrote letters, I recall the depression era, starvation and hunger and dirt smeared faces. The sorrow and agony and angry and vitriol of being betrayed. I remember the future. I don’t know if it was Atlantis but I recall the Nile having water and greens, and happy people in a sort of paradise, Atlantis was like the future–distant future, when most of the world goes undersea. I always thought the sinking of the titanic was a mystery to be solved, and set out with a friend as a child to find out how it sunk. My ancestors do stretch across Italy, Rome, France, Ireland, and Poland as far as I know.

But the genetic history of one person is different than the human history of the entire human existence, which cannot be subverted. I was not the only Mary, I hope. There were 9 of us but I was the one who longed so much to connect to the higher power, who sat alone in reverie and spoke with God and believed women were equal to men.

They took out Mary’s statue, or I think it was st. Brigit who I was secretly adoring. They have done horrible things to us, to the people who could see God.

Sophia is wisdom. The trinity has roots inn Celtic Irish beliefs. Tir Nan ogh is the land of heroes the ancient afterlife they now say is a faerie realm, well, it was the old realm. Even fairies still exist. People are just blind. I don’t know why the authorities of Heaven allow such evil to persist without question.

The visions or memories just came to me, simply arrived at my doorstep. Im trying not to fully accept them because I want to truly know for certain if I lived before, but all my predictions proved accurate. there is one very ancient memory, after the world was reborn–we were on a Great Ship, now thinking it was Noah’s Ark, there was a sea monster but the prophet Moses was able to speak to it, and he was a great monster hunter, Evil is not this red man in a mask, the ancient evils were Giant Monsters and Cyclops and ancient dragons, all we’re fighting now is the truth. All humanity fights now is each other. Its sad we’ve come this far across the ages to look back.