What if I'm making it all up?

(I know this topic has been debated a 100 times, so I’m sorry in advance.)

Some nights, I can’t help but wonder… What if I made it all up?
I know I’ve gotten better on medicines, so I’ve obviously got something wrong with me, but what if I’ve been grossly exaggerating the whole thing to make myself feel better about being weird?

What if what I think is internal voices is really just my own thoughts, and it was easier for me to deal with being a freak by subconsciously blaming them on something else?

What if I couldn’t deal with being suicidal, so I made myself think it was voices telling me I had to die?

What if the avolition is really just me being lazy and not raised right? I’ve always had sz, but I’ve also always had problems with structure and cleaning. What if my parents were just too lenient with me?

Is my sz a delusion? Is the fact that I think it’s a delusion, a delusion?

The mental pain I’ve felt is real, but what if I made it seem worse in my head than it really was? I DO have a tendency to overthink things.

How do I rid myself of these thoughts?


Perhaps what you have is a real illness with real symptoms that has not been recognized by anyone. It is also called “validation.” I don’t believe we are deceiving ourselves about all of the symptoms we experience. I think it is conceivable that we have believed everything without truth, but we need some empathy from others so we can get past that.

I get this all the time but never been able to describe it as eloquently as you have. I’ll be interested in hearing everyone elses point of view!

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Sounds like if you don’t have sz, you have other problems that need mental health treatment. I think you probably do have sz and you are just delusional about it at the moment. That is just my opinion. Also, I don’t know about everyone else. but I tend to overthink things too. Is that not a trait of sz?

I’ve had similar thoughts, whether it be doubt in my self and my own interpretation of events, or doubt of the doctor’s authenticity. I’m glad I have a good memory to recall how bad I was.

It doesn’t really matter at the end of the day what name they slap on your set of symptoms. Most people wouldn’t be seeking help if they had no need.

That said, I’ve felt the self-blame, self-loathing of wondering if I was raised correctly, if maybe I went wrong somewhere along the line. My childhood wasn’t ideal but it could’ve been much worse. I dunno, I still have my doubts, it’s hard to argue against my being lazy when I’m given evidence of it all the time, it takes a lot of prodding to get myself just to go through the basic motions. That isn’t normal, and indicates that I need some sort of help.

Sorry, kinda rambled there.


Overthinking probably is a trait, yes.
But how do I stop it?

Do you take antidepressants? They can help people to stop worrying. They help some for me. Do you get anxiety when you are overthinking?

I don’t get much anxiety anymore. I just get a feeling of restlessnes.

I’ve been well for several years and I have these doubts as well sometimes. But take away the meds that have been keeping me well and I am soon reminded of the raw, chaotic mess I am without them. I think this doubt of the illness is why people cycle coming off their meds. I find that cycle exhausting so I don’t do it anymore.


@Berru I have the same thoughts. Then I try to remember the voices. I think how they sound different from my thoughts and how they come from different locations in my head. I think about the outside voices and sounds. I really try to remember exactly how they sounded, that way it reminds me that I didn’t make them up. I find myself saying well for sure I know that voice really happened so therefore it’s likely I didn’t make the rest of it up. It’s hard when you’re medicated to remember just how much used to be flying at you all the time. But I try to remember the noise and all the times I just wanted to put my hands over my ears to stop it. I know I didn’t make that up. It’s real, this ■■■■ is real. It sucks that we have it, but we need to accept it and stay the course.


As far as possible solutions, you’ve probably considered this but I’ll throw it out there anyways. Doing something creative (Which for me means writing stories and stuff or doing other nerdy hobbies.) often calmed my periphery thoughts. Other people clean their houses or living spaces (Weird, right?). Then there’s always listening to music to drown out the street noise, whatever it takes to transport my state of mind to a place of calm and quiet.

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there are some things that i question a lot like you as well

what if it was my upbringing is a big one (not my dad)

maybe it was bc i wasn’t spiritually strong enough (its possible)

i hope no-one blames my mother bc that has nothing to do with my illness (but maybe it has)

i say was it my fault (i’m trying to tell myself that god has a plan and its all happening for some reason greater than just me)

as far as symptoms are concerned i’m like (thank god for meds)

support (thank god for the support i get especially at my clubhouse and friends)

these are just my thoughts on things

you are not making it up, we all have questions and these questions will change in time as you develop, i’d suggest talking to your p/doc about this, i’m sure he will have a better point of view :slight_smile:

Maybe you have an illness that makes you make things up.

I think it’s common to question if it’s really that bad. Especially when you start to get stable. But no you didn’t make it up.

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I think the same thing about myself. What if it’s just my imagination? Then I think about the times where I was really sick and psychotic. This reminds me how real this illness is. :sun_with_face:

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Not old at all @Berru. This is obviously bothering you. Do you see a T? The only thing I can suggest is to give yourself more distractions. But I over think too.

Psychiatrists are taught to be pretty perceptive and good at observing peoples behaviour. If you’ve been faking it (according to you) I think a psychiatrist would have already called you on it.


The mental illness can be the byproduct of another illness or injury and thus not be the root and the reason. In this way we can doubt it’s realness. Might wonder why we need the protection of our mental illness. Because I do think it (our mental illness) is any effort to protect ourselves from further harm.

You guys are probably right :sweat_smile:
My dad’s a psychologist, and he would have been first in line to tell me if he thought I was faking or overdoing it.


Those things you said are all rational I mean I feel like psychosis can act as an extreme defense mechanism. Like a really off the charts form of denial.

I ended up feeling like a lot of my voices I just deemed separate beings because I didn’t want to acknowledge I had those elements of my personality. Doesn’t change the fact that they still fill like totally different people living in my head that are not under my control. Even if those things you said are true and you subconsciously create things for those reasons it is still psychosis…