sorry if i am harsch today. the seroquel just deshinibated me not in a good way. i thik ill stop it, i cant handle it…
but i want so desperately to feel better that it makes me angry… i guess, i need to calm myself down cause its a pain to want something so much…you know what i mean… the peace involves other things too, not just the need to be 100% healthy… but my mom seems so desperate about me too… she doesnt believe in me at all anymore. she also doesnt believe that any schizophrenic lives good. for her, we are all sufferers and it will remain like this. it makes me mad when she talks like this but i stay to be calm too. but i didnt progres since decades… what if ill remain forever like this? if my mother passes away, ill have no one to talk with. no one to see in the day. and this will be hell yes…
If you get the right meds there is no reason you can’t go on to live a fairly normal life. Study what schizophrenia actually is i.e. all of its symptoms like what a knight move in thinking is, what the general schizophrenic delusions are and live healthily a life can be led relatively well.
It takes a few moths to adjust to each medication and then it becomes ‘normal’. You may even be symptom free schizophrenci wise. Gaining weight and the increasing chance of diabetes are sdie effects and one has to work hard to eat well and keep fit to stave off obesity, but otherwise it is possible to function well.
Give yourself time. Learn to meditate to calm the mind and before you know it life can improve. Take baby steps in life. Draw, paint, write, even if its done badly it is still an expression. A release and joy. To want and crave is part of the problem, where as accepting what is is the first step.
Good luck and be at peace.
Ive tried all kind of meds since 7 years @labratmat, they aren’t a big help.my mother says that ill be forever alone. ok, I behave myself like a kid still so she doesn’t know what to say to me anymore but when I asked her why I cant be loved by somebody she said that the the normal guys will want a healthy girl. she even said that I am a person without a value because I am ill. and she said that she is ill too and it goes the same for her. you’ve heard about something like this? I am somebody with no value, yeah… why she speaks like this?
I dont want to hate my mother but I wonder myself if I feel bad because of her. your parents did you say to you bad things when you were at your worse?
Mother daughter issues are very complicated and being male I can only guess, so bear with me…
It seems your mother is living with a preconditioned bias towards schizophrenia, shaped mostly by the media and we all know how terrible that is. Her personal experience has negatively influenced her too. Placing so much importance on her opinion solely will not be necessarily beneficial to you.
She and you may be surprised at how each individual reacts to the diagnosis, but to believe that you will not find love at all and to hear it from your mother who is someone you love and trust must be quite depressing. Finding your value in life is not measured by how your mother sees the world. It is how you see the world, so don’t be tainted by that negative bias. A sense of hope and positivity is essential in life and outlook. It not only attracts a mate, but helps to build confidence and happiness.
Don’t give up yet! No one is in fact normal any way, so the average is just a statistical fact. We are all affected by life and it affects us all in so many ways. Personally, I have found several girlfriends who were without a diagnosis of which the relationships lasted over a year, so it is not impossible.
With the meds, it might take a combination of them to work and a life being led relatively healthily. (Taking fish oil with high epa and dha helps my depression and doesn’t interact with the meds, so that is a start.) Diet and exercise also help, but most of all not giving up hope in its entirety is essential.
Hope this helps
yeah, I guess I am too dependant on her opinion cause finally, everybody can says dumb things isn’t it? what I lack most is the positivity yes… I struggle for this in my head mostly since 10 months but I lived desperate for years so like you say, it can take time. I really play my imbecile when I speak to my mother so she doesn’t know what to say to me anymore and sometimes she says those dumb things… my father died from a mental illness you know… I hate myself now, I hate my life gosh… meds are not working on me a lot. they just prevent me from dying cause in my worse, I even stop to eat or to drink water… its only me who has a mom like this though? maybe it comes from our culture- east Europe, idk…
Mother/daughter and even mother/son relationships depend on their upbringing and life experience as we all are made up of. The trick is to forge your own life and break chains of habit that we can be afflicted by.
Do you have racing thoughts? Meditation can help with that, but it seems the meds you have tried haven’t really worked yet. Learning how to function basically is the fundamental first steps to make. Routines of living normally need to be worked out. Write a schedule of thing you need to do everyday i.e. washing yourself, maintaining clean clothes, eating and drinking and stick to it every single day. tick the boxes and once a routine is set then you can add to your routines, i.e. shopping, taking a walk, clean house. Build it up, bit by bit. Get some order and make the baby steps you need to take to get grounded and ‘normal’.
Take it slowly, but build.
I feel rage right now, I cant do nothing. Seroquel makes me mad… I want to venge myself cause I feel alone now. even my mother is desperate. am I really alone? were your parents like this, you didn’t answer this… do you think its normal for a mother to speak like this? but I guess that even if she was supportive, I would be so hopeless still…
I have disowned my family for various reasons which are very complicated.
I think it is very normal for a mother to say unkind and insensitive things and to not understand their children. We all have our own baggage to deal with, just don’t carry someone else’'s.
Be kind and gentle with her even though you may think she doesn’t deserve it. Your life is ultimately your own and you as an individual have to make your own way. Please keep calm through it all. If she is not supportive right now, it might change. No doubt she loves you, but has difficulty expressing it as many people do.
Make small steps, make routines and keep in the present. The future will be yours, but you need to take it slowly. The longest journey begins with the first step.
Good luck
ok thank you for spending a time to explain me things when actually I am mad… I have this rage in me when I am on Zyprexa but I find worse when Seroquel makes it on the surface, its no good. I know that the way is keeping loving my mom, I know… ok, maybe I am not easy too so she says bad things sometimes. yeah, ill keep going, thank you a lot