That my higher power has good intentions for me. And maybe I misinterpreted the message at the time. But there’s still time to reflect on past messages and change your interpretation.
I think when you’re on the edge of psychosis it feels like god is talking to you. Maybe the reason is because the complexity of the universe=some kind of coincidence response that you notice when In excited mindstates for some reason.
But God Is there too i feel
But when I come back to reality from my last episode I say that I am simply an outlier of society.
Who’s to say my way isn’t the right way??? Definitely nobody. Just as I can’t say anyone else’s isnt the right or is the wrong way. I do trust god though.
But anyways, the norm has too much power. I think children are our only hope.
A lot of older folks are going to keep hurting the world. Maybe before we self destruct we will change. But that sure as heck won’t be full responsibility of the baby boomers??
They will be the great grandparents cheering on their great grandchildren if we ever wanna start being kind and sensible to each other or something along those lines.
But I tend to think we will self destruct or at least regenerate anew eventually given the way we are headed now.
I think there were two reasons I thought I could “save the world”
And
- How could this all happen to me, there must be some reason for it all
- Growing up my world was fine. Not messed up the first ten years AT ALL. I saw it in my self how blind one can be. And how opened and enlightened they can become by seeing a different perspective. For me that was struggling and pain and schizophrenia. But I think seeing the two sides of things. My pleasant childhood turned both slowly and quickly to an utter mess. It made me see multiple perspectives and I saw what it was like to be happy, and have that all taken away from you and become downtrodden.
I’m not sure but I think seeing both sides of things made me wanna change things in the world.
There was the light at the end of the tunnel. Because I had it good in the past.
Alas I’m happy being a schizophrenic and a few other labels than society is scared of. Because not like society ever gave me any chance before these labels came about 
So I should just let them label me and rep those labels the best I could, I feel.