What do you mean by that?

A friend Suzanne called me to apologize one day and left the message on my machine, “I’m sorry I was an ahole to you." Because it is a word I don’t use, or at least up then didn’t use, I asked my brother, "What does 'ahole’ mean?”

My brother said, “An a**hole is a person who is harder than average to love.”

I was delighted! Now that I know what that word means, I love to use it. When a guy cuts me off in traffic, I laugh happily and say, “There’s another a**hole.”

Now I’m asking my brother, “What does ‘I’d rather go hungry than not pay back the money I want to borrow from you’ mean?”

My brother says it just means, “I really need money bad.”

I thought it meant, “I will make it a priority to pay you back.”

I’m angry at a friend now who borrowed a large some of money from me with the phrase, “I’d rather go hungry than not pay back this loan.” and then completely forgot she had borrowed it.

Seriously, she borrowed a large amount of money from me and kept me in the loop of her life. I know the financial betrayals from her employer and family members she experienced; also, I know and health problems she experienced subsequent to borrowing the money such that I didn’t get the money back.

Recently. I did say to this gal, “Some of my support system are not happy with me about the large amounts of money I have lent to you,” and she shot back, “You never lent me a large amount of money!”

So I refreshed her memory, and then she said, “Oh, well, I meant to pay you back, and then, this and this happened,” which of course I did know what hardships she had endured.

And I know she’s quite physically sick and the support system in this country is cumbersome, but my feeling are hurt that she forgot me. It is really hard to send her a Christmas present this year.


Send her a piggy bank.


a**hole in this context is a slang word. The English language is full of them. There is the actual meaning of the word, literally, then how we use it in slang. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/■■■■■■■

Lending money to friends can cause problems sometimes. I think both you and your brother are right in interpreting what your friend said. Her intentions when she borrowed the money was probably to make it a priority to pay it back as she really needed it. Sometimes intentions are not always followed through on. She may have reacted defensively because she is aware that she hasn’t paid you back yet.

Do what you feel is right about sending her a Christmas present. :heart:

I believe Longfellow wrote, “If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we would find sickness ansd suffering enough to disarm all hostilities.” How even more true of friends.

pob, your reply is cute, and thanks so much Barbie, you have been a valued support to me so many times!


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