I lost out on my youth really, I got ill at an age where independence wasn’t expected so 15-present I’ve been unwell, my mum points out I still talk about the present as if I were 18, so she reminds me I’m 21, I feel threatened by people of that age because they bullied me and I have to remind myself I’m an adult and not a 16 year old wandering the corridors of school. I never got to go wild in pubs/bars as I had no friends when it came to that time in my life, I didn’t get thrown in the deep end of independence by going to uni, or get a job, because I was too unwell. Only now am I learning independence but I missed out on being the typical teenager, I went straight from child to ill.
It’s cost me friends, my independence, my life experiences when you’re supposed to come of age, it’s also cost me my physical health.
I try not to dwell, as although it cost me that, I’m apparently a better person for it, I’ve come out an entirely different person than the one I was when I was 14. So I try to focus on that and what it’s made me.