education is my answer.
also, all kinds of education, in all kinds of fields.
I admire elyn who could accomplish it despite sz. I didn’t and couldn’t.
I have some education but nothing like what I had hoped and I am trying now to get well with the dream still in me of going back to an excellent graduate school program and getting a masters degree.
judy
My 20’s, having a well paying job, anything fun… I think I’m feeling a little jaded today.
I lost out on my youth really, I got ill at an age where independence wasn’t expected so 15-present I’ve been unwell, my mum points out I still talk about the present as if I were 18, so she reminds me I’m 21, I feel threatened by people of that age because they bullied me and I have to remind myself I’m an adult and not a 16 year old wandering the corridors of school. I never got to go wild in pubs/bars as I had no friends when it came to that time in my life, I didn’t get thrown in the deep end of independence by going to uni, or get a job, because I was too unwell. Only now am I learning independence but I missed out on being the typical teenager, I went straight from child to ill.
It’s cost me friends, my independence, my life experiences when you’re supposed to come of age, it’s also cost me my physical health.
I try not to dwell, as although it cost me that, I’m apparently a better person for it, I’ve come out an entirely different person than the one I was when I was 14. So I try to focus on that and what it’s made me.
I have wasted way too much energy on this kind of loss and just recently have “accepted” my loss…mainly, having a high paying career in Architecture…I was almost licensed when I got sick at 35 back in 1997…after years and years of trying to go back and work, I failed miserably each time…ending in suicidal tendencies…I am “over it” now, looking forward to just spending my time painting art and playing my instruments…I fill my endless hours with music and gazing at art when I can…just until recently I have been rehashing “what could have been” and decided this is God’s plan for me now to just make the best of it…I also have reunited with my dad this Dad’s day recently and I don’t feel so forlorn about that either…good luck to all of you accepting what has happened to you…it’s tough I know…especially those who didn’t get to experience college…I do feel better knowing I at least got to go?
I missed out on grad school too. That was painful for me. Ive always wanted to be a psychiatric nurse practitioner, but sz struck me down before I could do it.
I still hold that dream, though. Its what keeps me motivated and looking forward.
Blessings,
Anthony
My diagnosis of Sz and going to seek help almost 3 years ago was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. As a result I left a bad relationship and found the love of my life. However having struggled with the effects of Sz most of my life I am sure there are quite a number of opportunities I turned down for reasons that could probably be traced back to this illness. But I always hate blaming things on Sz; in some ways it feels like I am just passing responsibility when in reality I understand illness or not I made these decisions so I am responsible for dealing with the consequences.
All of this said. Sz has helped me improve my art and creativity. I have learned to be more aware of my surroundings. And according to my fiancee, Sz makes me an interesting person to be around. So for all of the bad things I could point out about Sz, there has been some good things that I am very thankful for.
Everything ----------
Growing up painfully shy kept me from doing more things than being SZ. In fact the Sz label has kinda given me more freedom to do things I would never have considered before.
My childhood. My Teen years, high school, friends. Education. Earning a living for myself on my own. 
jukebox, I haven’t heard from you in ages.
glad you seem to be doing o.k.
judy
Well, I never cared much about getting married and having kids. In my addiction I proposed to three women though. Just caught up in the moment if you know what I mean. When I was in my teens and becoming an adult before my disease I never really had many goals. I didn’t ever think I would have a high power career. I just kind of lived my life,going from low paying job to low paying job. Partying, hanging out with friends.And even after I got sick , I was still doing really normal things.Thanks to my sisters. I hung out in book stores/ coffee houses. Isn’t that what life about? Having experiences? I wasn’t jealous of anybody in particular. Even at my sickest I was still hanging out on our local state college campus, playing pinball in their student lounge. To tell you the truth I never knew what my potential was or if I had any. So everything I’ve ever done after I got sick is a bonus and I didn’t expect it and I am grateful. I don’t dwell on losses.
i’ll be honest my whole life pretty much has sucked, big time…
take care
yes, I have been really down for a long time but I am back and feel like being online again…thanks Judy…you are a true friend.!!
Like many people,I missed universities because of my illness,now I already forget about it…I just hoped to function normally everyday
Well, my onset was at age 16 and I didn’t receive treatment for years. I was too sick to get married and have children. My education suffered.
I have two friends that I grew up with that didn’t have mental illness. I got sick at 13 so I watched them live life and experience everything a normal teen and young adult should. As we entered our twenties I would go in the hospital and watch as they went to college, got married, and had kids. All the things I wanted to do. I would keep trying at school as they seemed to breeze through it. Finally at 30 my life is coming together. I’m almost done school and have a 3.96 GPA. I’m in a great relationship. I’m even getting a new car soon. It’s taken a while but my life is finally coming together. I think sz has made me a stronger and wiser person. Our personality is shaped from our life experience and it’s the hard times that make us who we are. 
I missed out on going to varsity, because I got SZ when I was in matric and couldn’t go further with my education. I didn’t get a job either. But then when I got better, I found God, so SZ was a blessing in disguise.
thanks for the compliment Michael. I must say I have enjoyed your friendship time and again here online.
thanks, ever so much. judy
Dating more…I got huge. I don’t even get second date chance lots of times like this…
I really like being thinner but I returned to the ‘miserable kid’ look of my childhood when the psychosis started and psych meds, social problems, money problems, stalker abusers/abusive relationship have made it very difficult (impossible) to reduce & maintain…
I missed my courage, i missed my well feeling, i miss my motivation, the list can go on and on, hopefully one day they can come up with a good med. and the side effect will be minimum.