What do u remember most about ur first psychotic episode

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I ask about the first one because that is when we are most strongly lost of insight. Well l I was anyways as I was not aware of such thing called psychosis

I remember wen I was going to die(so the delusion voices said), and I was sitting in a e hoping that I might survive, all the people around me were so beautiful all the strangers in the room. I was just sitting there looking at people, thinking this could be the last time I see people.
And it really evoked some strong attachment feeling towards them and recognition of them.

Did anyone experience something similar?

Or what do u remember most about ur psychotic episode?

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Basically I thought I was in an arranged marriage with another patient. The marriage was arranged by occult forces.

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Demonic and religious messages and hallucinations.

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It’s really, really, hard to explain.

I let my poems do the talking for me.

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all the blood everywhere

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my main impression was that i was in hell and suffering for my sins

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How unbearably long it was.

My suffering seemed to have no end.

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Absolute â– â– â– â– â– â– â–  terror.

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I was around 14. I just got baptized and a very dark voice kept telling me that it was wrong and I would go to hell

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Among my first delusions was the Truman Show one and I also feared I was going to get killed, although I had no idea why. Kinda frightful, in hind sight.

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The domineering phrase DEAD, HOSPITAL,PRSION ,when I asked the’vocies’ what they wanted.

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I remember having to go to the hospital when I was 14 because I had intrusive thoughts telling me to kill myself, but they were also telling me about what hell would be like and that God hated me and that I wanted people to die. They also told me I was gay and for some reason that scared me. I was diagnosed with psychotic depression but my mom took me home after 3 days and I never took the meds because I was convinced I had OCD and Asperger’s syndrome, not psychosis. I don’t think I ever really had a full episode though. I think I’ve always maintained at least some amount of lucidity.

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Jesus told me to kill myself to go to heaven and because I am immortal. I did it but failed. My parents caught me. I swallowed a whole Tylenol bottle, I vomitted many times on my way to hospital. Drs told my parents that I would be dead if I came later because my liver would be completely damaged. I still have liver pain from time to time especially when eating fat and dairy.

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Voices are rarely if ever helpful. They threaten or harrass or incite to bad or reckless deeds. Take your meds and it’ll be ok.

PS about being gay… there is no shame if that is the case. But learn to decide for yourself and don’t let voices or other people tell you who to be.

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I don’t remember my first, but i do remember my worst. i destroyed a coffin bookshelf my husband had custom made for me, burned the books he’d bought me over the yeara, and took a hammer to some jewellery he had given me

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Taking cold baths in October, I thought heated water was evil, I didn’t freeze, never really noticed the temperature

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I was at work and the computer screen said kill someone. I left because I was panicking and voices started telling me to kill myself. I was scared as hell.

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Yeah, it ruined an otherwise perfectly good breakfast.

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I actually don’t remember my first. I’ve struggled with psychosis since I was a child and didn’t know the words for it. I think my first full on episode cane in my teens though. I never told anyone.
TW:
I do remember my first break so bad, I had to be hospitalized though. I thought I was a time traveler (still do) and that the only way to travel back in time to save the past and get away from the demons was to kill myself so I’d drop into another life (I no longer think this). I took a bunch of pills and had to stay in ICU and as soon as I was physically good, they shipped me off to a psychiatric hospital. The doctors saved me but I was so sure they had actually ruined everything. It was awful.

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I was at work, and a mean voice said, “This is spirit possession. You have HIV and your boyfriend has AIDS.” I was terrified, and the voices forced me to get an HIV test a week later, which was negative.