My first psychotic episode frightened the life out of me litreally

DX'd - Sz/SzA
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The shock of it, left me numb for years

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shell shocked for years, and innocent of any ‘‘crime’’

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wht was it like how was the symptoms

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I think the first time episode is most scary for most people. I hope your medicine keep your symptoms under control.

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Looking forward to hear your story and your recovery journey.

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I really thought I was in the ‘‘real’’ hell ffs the voices where convicning me this, but the delusion was worse

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thanks, my life story would be certainly a Hollywood block buster movie, in fairness

ive being places no one else was

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what was the delusion

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the delusion was I was in the real hell no escaping like

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I had something similar, I wonder wat proportion of psychosis individuals experience that

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mine was all to do with god and d devil …full stop…delusion was worse

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I’m sorry to hear that Pedro, I hope it doesn’t affect you anymore those experiences

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I feel for you guys. My psychotic episode was pretty scarring as well and also involved hell.

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I’m sorry to hear that you went through similar things Komaeda. :((
It’s so powerful on the mind it can have a life long effect if one doesn’t find some very amazing coping mechanisms. Im hoping to turn this around and get something positive out of it. It’s just taken too much of a toll on me otherwise

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Mines was weird. I didn’t know I was sick. And even though I know now that I was I still can’t explain some of the bizarre things that would happen.

The tv would come on when I walk by it. One night a knife was thrown across the kitchen. But when I started taking risperidone the voices were hardly every there. And the weird stuff that happened went away.

The thing that has helped me the most is to pray and read my bible.

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I’m glad you got relief from all of that. That’s the thing, it’s hard to get a 100percent explanation cos no one really knows. So we can fill in the gaps however we feel most at ease

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One day I’m watching TV, emptying trash, getting the mail and jogging in the hills and occasionally driving to the mall. I mean it started at least two years before but I was still functioning. The next day, I’m in a meeting with my parents, my therapist, and the psychiatrist and it’s decided I would be put in my first psyche ward.

Four days on the ward and I turn psychotic. And the following 2 1/2 years I have not even a minutes relief from psychosis.

I mean I didn’t sign up for this crap. Can I back out of the deal and get my money back? I was just joking, I’m not sick, the past 40 years were just a misunderstanding, a comedy of errors that got out of control. I was never serious. Yeah, is it too late to quit schizophrenia? I feel I got a raw deal. I just walked into the psychiatrists clinic to get out of the rain and now I have to take MEDICATION!!?? This situation has gone too far, that’s what I get for being too nice. In 5 minutes I’m quitting schizophrenia and going back to my dishwashing job and going to more movies.

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My first episode was hell as well. Living on the streets and running for imagined terrors was painful.

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The first episode is the hardest to get through. It all still terrorizes me badly though among other things in life I’m going through. And, it’s bad when you can’t even explain whats going on to your family or friends in a way they can understand and not hollar at you.

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I think my Mum was worried about me when I was going through my first psychosis, as I had a couple of people call round to see me to talk about my mental health. At the end of this chat the woman decided that I should see a psychiatrist because I was hearing voices and hallucinating occasionally, but I said I wasn’t interested in that and if the voices weren’t bothering me I didn’t see that much of a problem. I honestly believe there is a spiritual side to all of this too. But apparently, because I was on anti-anxiety tablets at the time I could be detained my the mental health act and made to see a psychiatrist anyway. So later on that day, I was asleep on my couch and four people (police officers and ambulance people) forced their way past my husband and came into my house lifted me up off the couch and pinned me to the floor so that they could handcuff me (EXTREMELY PAINFULLY), then they dragged a very confused and crying me outside and handcuffed me to the gurney/bed thing in an ambulance, and proceeded to drive me to the hospital where, after a brief chat with a psychiatrist for like 5 - 10 minutes I was (against my will) sedated and kept in the ICU overnight before they drove me to a specialist mental health hospital and kept me for nearly 15 days in a shared room, not allowed outside and forcibly medicated daily, because the initial psychiatrist had deemed me psychotic for hearing the voices and hallucinating. I was only told I was allowed to leave the morning I got out. It has happened to me again since, this time I was in a different hospital’s psych ward after the cops came and mauled me/took me away again (under the same mental health act, for anxiety!) but that time I was kept for 3 weeks and not allowed outside or told when I could leave (again, found out the day I got out). Both times have been the most terrifying thing to ever have happened to me and I think I’ll be scarred for the rest of my life from the trauma of it.

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