What did you think psychosis was before you got ill yourself? What did you think about psychotic people?
I thought that psychosis was temporary. That you had it and then it was gone. I was disappointed when doc told me no, that I needed meds. I was like when will this sh-it end!?
I never thought psychotic people as being “crazy” ! I was like it’s a temporary malfunction of the brain that resolves on its own.
Now I know that once you have a psychotic break it’s very hard to recover and that one needs meds probably for life.
I also know that in most cases it’s genetic, combined with trauma or drugs.
I never looked down on people with Sz though.
Once I saw a man with sz screaming and shouting things to himself on the street when I wasn’t aware. I felt sorry for him but didn’t think of it more than that.
Later on, when I got sick, I did the same in my apartment. I screamed and shouted sometimes in the middle of the night, walking back and forth in my apartment.
Im similar to jonathan2, mostly i thought it was just what youd expect of “insanity” in the traditional sense. I guess since then it hasn’t changed for me. The only difference is that previously i thought it was psychological and could be amended by things like therapy. Now however, i know its not.
If I were psychotic I would not take care about myself or not care about people I love, my problem/ condition is improbable I can not explain it to anyone, no one understands.
I didnt really understand the medical side of it. Even though i was surrounded by sz and psychotic people regularly before getting unwell the first time. I just thought ‘crazy’ i think back then. But now im much more educated about it since having it for 13 and 1/2 years.
I do suspect my ex had paranoia. He for example would suddenly draw a knife and say a random stranger was stalking us. Or if I accidently looked a man in the eye on the streets, he would be convinced I knew him and had sex with him, when we were far abroad in a place I never even visited. I mainly thought: wth are you doing. You frighten me. And you act weird. Stop it. I was puzzled and confused, wondering what was wrong. I dissociated and went into survival mode. I wanted to reach and help him.
It would have helped a whole lot, if I had known what was wrong. I think he didn’t even know himself though.
Now, psychotic people do not frighten me at all. I can be a lot more kind and understanding to them.
I just started thinking that the whole world knew who I was, I never questioned it…after my first psychotic episode I thought it was just a “nervous breakdown” and unfortunately stopped taking me meds…allowed me to be insane for the rest of the year and it was enough to give me a good book to write…that’s the only good that came from it…once I realized that my mind had been lying to me I got really angry at first, then depressed.
I had no idea. I got insidious onset. I just slid into major psychosis over a week or so. I thought I was ok and there were all these other things going on but I was floridly psychotic looking back on it. When I was told it was probably sz I thought I was developing multiple personalities. I was totally clueless.
I remember I was in a restaurant with my friend whilst mid psychosis, as we walked there, I told her ppl were talking about me behind us on the streets, strangers.
She knew it anyway, as I turned around and was cursing them.
In the restaurant she told me that she thinks I have schizophrenia. I don’t remember how I responded but in my mind I was thinking she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.