What can I do about my brother in law who ignores me blatantly every time he meets me and looks at me as if Im scum

What can I do…my brother in law is a very judgemental person, he hears some of the things Ive done due to being crazy…For example, when I was very ill at the time and I spat in my mothers face when I was very ill. I deeply regret that I did this but I was very psychotic and ill at the time. Anyway Ive apologised to my mother and she forgave me. It was unfortunate that it happened but it was something that occurred because of my schizophrenia and would never have occurred otherwise…

Anyway, my point is my brother in law heard about this and he now thinks Im a scumbag because of it. He understand nothing. We, my brother in law and I never got on. We never talk in the 20 yrs I have known him. This is because I never got on with my sister, who is his wife. Anyway, I cant stand meeting this guy as we just sit silently in each others company when we’re forced to be at some family gathering. But recent thing is he occasionally looks at me as if Im scum. This angers me. What can I do about him. I cant stand him, I just want him out of my life.

This is a tough one. Is there anyway you can talk to your sister with out the brother-in-law around? Maybe square it with her and not worry about the in-law? If you and the sis can repair your friendship he will either begin to trust you again or always be a jerk and that will be his problem.

In-law’s not liking family is NOT an SZ specific problem. There are lots of families where there is no mental illness and they still have in-law problems.

I’d say, tell your Mom you’d like to find a way to repair the damage with the sister. Get that part of your family and your life back. Maybe your Mom can tell the sis and the in-law… “hey, I’ve dropped it, so should you.”

It might be you and the sis can be friends again and the in-law might not like you for being taller or shorter then him. Or what ever else.

I have some amazing cousins who have married some not nice women. I have to ignore the women and keep the friendship with the cousins. It’s hard and it bites, but divorce does happen and if you and the sis are friends, well then the in-law doesn’t matter. Leave him out of the frame when trying to connect with the sis. Don’t run him down or tell the sis what you think. Make this healing between you and her.

Hope this helps… Good luck.


Yes I would avoid any confrontational behavior on your part. If you cannot get close to your sister - I would try to ignore her husband for some time. Try not to let people get to you, even family members. Try to keep things as comfortable as possible for yourself. I would avoid any kind of conflict - maybe this is what they want, so dont give it to them


Barrage him with overly friendly questions to make it clear that he is an ■■■■■■■ or just tell him a really sick joke. That’s what I do to people who show me disrespect- act obnoxiously friendly or just let them see what used to go on inside my head and scare them. Either one shuts them up and you will love their facial expression.

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A non-schizophrenic has to be very open minded to grasp the disorders symptom. And they also have to have a strong desire to grasp the illness. So most people are not capable of understanding the symptoms of the disorder. I start with saying. Schizophrenia is a genetic illness. Its not like when people get over stressed like from going on an alcohol drug binge for a week and then hear voices until they get a couple days of a good nights sleep. With schizophrenia the voices never go away unless you take medication and the voices are often really mean.

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I completely agree with your post. Since you seem to be one of the few in my “Sz is genetic for me, not trauma onset” boat, I really appreciate what you say.

The quote I highlighted just made me think of some of the people I know who are not capable of understanding any illness or are incapable of looking beyond themselves in any way for any reason. I have a few in my family. They don’t just NOT understand SZ, they also don’t understand that my sis and I have a job and can’t come to their every beck and call.

Some people can’t put themselves in anyone shoes under any circumstance.

are you SURE hes looking at you like your a peice of scum often i think people do this and they arent?

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I am actually sure he looks at me as if Im scum.