What people think of you?
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imo the only real way to do so is to come to terms with the fact that some people will not like you and will not have pleasant thoughts about you and that thats okay and doesnt hurt you
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I would assume that what you are talking about goes beyond ordinary concerns with friends, family, and co-workers, and has become at least a minor neurosis. It might involve issues such as:
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Obsessively proofreading emails ten times because you’re afraid of including a typo or something that might appear offensive.
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Fretting about messages that you leave on answering, for similar reasons.
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Repeating conversations over and over again in your head.
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Delaying conversations or meeting with certain people.
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Always seeking to avoid confrontation.
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In extreme cases, avoiding certain social situations because of social anxiety.
If that’s the case, I have two suggestions. Firstly, in some cases an exercise of willpower can help. For instance, to tackle the first problem above, you might tape a note to your computer saying, “Proofread each email only once.” Then force yourself to do it. It can also help to keep track of successes, i.e. 158 emails sent and none of them contianed serious mistakes.
The second suggestion is become involved with Toastmasters to become a better public speaker.
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I keep being friendly to all and sundry. Some people always react negatively to that. That isn’t my problem so I don’t waste time worrying about it.
Practice makes perfect. The more you try and socialize the better you become so I’d just say keep trying. I’ve failed a lot over the years but it is all worth it when things go well!
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also, i dont know if i would suggest this for you/most people but one way i deal with anxiety is to throw myself all the way in the deep end at once and my survival instinct kicks in and i usually end up swimming, whereas if i stay in the swallow end and just get my feet wet ill never get any in any deeper (swimming being a metaphor for successfully dealing with anxiety/social situations)
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*shallow wtf why did i type swallow
Lol I did not even realise.
I am sorry I don’t have any suggestions, but I wanted to let you know you aren’t alone. I even wonder why the people I smile at in the grocery store won’t smile back at me. I smile at everyone, and they just look at me with dead eyes. Am I particularly ugly, or is my smile bad? Am I dressed bad? Smell bad? What is it? I wonder why everyone has to judge me all the time. And I worry about family and friends, too (not usually my husband and never my younger kids, just my oldest). I don’t see extended family as often- maybe once every few years- but I worry when I see them, too.
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Hey, maybe you should look at these people? Get inside them, realise what type of person they are and maybe you’ll realise you don’t need their approval.
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