Starting from around age 11 (I’m 15 now), I’ve believed that my parents are drugging me up with sedatives or such. I don’t currently believe in it though.
More recent unusual beliefs of mine include believing that there is cyanide in my stuff (Original source of cyanide would’ve been the chemistry lab, that’s what I thought)
and that there is poisonous gas in our home.
I used to go somewhere outside because of the belief that there was gas in our apartment.
Also I believed that my parents (especially Dad) were going to kill me. My psychiatrist thinks these were symptoms of psychosis (delusions) but I doubt it…
They sound like delusions to me. I’ve had similar delusions when I was psychotic. I used to think the heat and air conditioning were poison and that food was poison. Very similar to yours. and I’m Schizophrenic so…
It’s natural to want to deny your diagnosis. I didn’t believe mine for quite awhile either. But I think your going to eventually have to accept the fact that you’ve had psychosis for awhile now. You’re better off accepting and taking your drugs rather than having another and possible worse episode.
I tried living in one of my brother in laws properties that didn’t have heating or air for awhile to escape. I had to use space heaters to try to keep warm. It wasn’t much fun. So at least you get to escape taking drastic steps like that to try to get away from the poison. You’re lucky you got diagnosed young and before you had too many episodes.
I’m glad you’re on the shot since you’re in denial. I’m in denial too, but since everyone around me says I’m delusional and hallucinating, I take my meds just in case.
These are delusions, paranoia etc which are positive symptoms but nothing to worry about. This will only become a problem to you and others if you start believing in it and mainly acting on it. You still denying it and that’s where the problem starts. Instead of denial simply accept the fact that its due to positive symptoms and learn to ignore such thoughts. When this happens you come to the category of people who have insight of their mental disease. When you have insight you no longer need to be put in hospital then what required is help if you can’t able to ignore the thoughts, voices (if have any) etc. For that anti psychotic medications help. Anti psychotic medication is not a must to have thing as there are people who can still function with the symptoms as they able to quickly distinguish the symptoms and have found ways to ignore it, not affect their lives etc. But this require insight and practice which you too can learn if try. People put you in hospital and giving you forced shots because you acting on your positive symptoms so first you need to ignore those thoughts and not show any sign of positive symptoms on outside or try to remain normal outside even if you getting these delusion like thoughts.
Good so do like this. Even if you get any kind of delusion thoughts let it be there in your mind itself but not act on it, don’t say it to anybody let it be fully private, confidential.
