My family and extended family was primarily female. I am wondering if any of you feel damaged by having an environment run by so called authorities and know it alls from the opposite gender.
In my female dominated family, my siblings at 17 were treated more like adults than I am at 29.
I was raised by a father who was dominating over all of us family members, especially my mother. I think I was traumatized by being a witness to his mental abuses he most constantly exhibited towards us all. I grew up not to believe in gender domination because of this but rather adopted the belief in being submissive to our superiors as we are expected to be to our bosses when employed by them.
I was the only girl.
Outnumbered by males so much that many thought I was gay because it was much easier to be friends with guys than the 2 faced, back-biting girls.
How would that make you gay if you prefer the company of guys? LOL
Because I was a tomboy and NEVER wore a dress.
Girls can b two faced. I was raised by a single father.
OMG! Now I know why you have baggage! Let it out, man! So awesome to hear you say it! REALLY!
My family never respected me anyway but after growing up, I see enough hair brain & kinda stupid stuff, they wouldn’t be able to respect anyone else anyway. I just ignore them! It’s like Winchester Castle OCD stuff from a mobility challenged Dad who really needs more and more help with the normal stuff like ADLs (activities of daily living – dress, shower, cooks, clean, get smokes, fast food…) My parents are pleased my sister even wants to visit them and every single time my sister the $150k family lady asks to go shopping. I NEVER even needed a loan from my parents for years after my nervous break, paying for everything myself making really modest wages in crappy work available here, but lived pretty comfortably on the cheap.
My Dad is the dominator, an explosion really. He never gave any help with school or much else even when the school curriculum required a parent to be instructor…leaving many of the students in the program resorting to cheating I’m sure as we got to grade own papers. Mother dearest is just too much about stupid stuff and nags good. I NEVER wanted her to bother helping me with homework as she worked two jobs and I just felt guilty asking for anything. Just cheated my way to passing.
MOST of us came from something screwed up, most of the successful people did too. I’m happy to see you get it all out. I worked in addictions treatment clinic for a while, they had Anger Management class I can highly recommend as it is called Batterer’s training later and court ordered unless you want a felony. Will be so worth your money just to pay the small amount and listen to what therapist has to say like analyzing your own family situation, what you resent, what pushes your buttons, how you start to feel when your buttons are pushed and alternative ways for you to respond so it won’t get you in trouble.
I LOVED ‘Toxic Family’ book. It can totally change your life just to read the chapter on coping. None of your relatives will ever bother you again as long as you can support yourself financially eventually…
Why not look for girlfriend little outside your area as you seem to hate the leader=type-ladies and whatever caused your crackup made witches out of some of the local woman? Think about this as time passes…You aren’t happy. Maybe you can find a way to move?
That’s not even half of it. I’ve also been physically tortured a number of times, but according to the people with staff personality disorder on here I am just an innocent man child who has no reason to be pissed off, having experienced no pain or injustice in life except what I’ve fabricated in my mind to justify my existence. Also sheltered from reality and apparently they have the truth and I just haven’t been educated on mental health issues! The funny thing about “psychoanalysis”, there is no way to test it, unlike a real scientific hypothesis!
What would you know about those?
I can relate. The therapy here is so bad, it’s a flipping sham that will wreck the experienced adults even with the callous dismissal or completely tear you apart with the previous abuse. It is just attempt to wreck a person with health insurance.
I think you may feel better if you try to do therapy yourself. Try to get yourself as angry about everything as you can to even vent it, write it in a letter, act it out with foam rubber baseball batt hitting door jam until you pulverize the batt, write letter to your family member expressing how much this hurt you. YOu do not need to share the letter, I don’t even think sharing these letters will help some of us as the adults in our lives were just so self-center or screwed up, they cannot even appreciate another person. You were just to be used can happen…Would REALLY suggest you work on living independently and just not communicate much with your family except as suggested in “Toxic Family” book. Things go like this with messed up family – your family can be an appointment. You try to stay busy during the whole gathering like watching the kids, cooking or cleanup, past 'I’m fine thank you, how are you?" You answer none of the jabs or insults except by saying, “You don’t say”, “really” …Over and over this goes until you leave on time with an excuse about having to be somewhere else. Eventually, you may get stuck being asked to do stuff for your aging parents, but it is just an appointment to handle too ignoring the -itching the whole time by brushing them off… This works the best if you will never need your family financially and you can live on your own soon enough so you NEVER really have to discuss much again.
I would REALLY suggest looking into the anger management classes for 2 months usually like $20 each session…You can call any drug counseling place and they will be able to refer you to right place to call…Lots of the mistreated ones self medicated with drugs too so drug counseling handles the anger cases too…
After some time passes following therapy, please hang out with some people and find the sweetest thing you have ever met and respect her good. Okay? Learn to communicate without explosion and be open to feedback/criticism. You may eventually find a GOOD female therapist who can work with you on communication style and you can turn off the anger/numbness and just live like the fun loving who had little baggage…
Your female relatives may well be experiencing psychosis too & it will make a complete monster out of some people. I so hate to admit, even the churchies will do a 180 sometimes and screw someone over with sniveling, back stabbing and it is embraced by some churches…A lot of people hear the voices sometimes and still function so may just need to ignore them like a stereo turned up too loud. Take care of yourself, try to be helpful enough so you are not a burden like pick up after yourself, share food prep, do your own laundry/cleaning and just try to avoid even talking to them except for 1-2 sentences max…I have a parent like that. There is just nothing to say. He wouldn’t do anything for me as a 5 year old except feed me or tell me something to keep me safe, not even homework help. Most I ever say to him now is hello or good bye. I hate staying here but it’s free and I need it for a little while so I can find another place to live that is safe and good enough employment options. Found lots of shockingly bad situations for female to try on her own alone, usually ends up crazier, used for welfare check or serving someone informally…(This is reason some women don’t want to be alone but can work out okay for male too as is cheaper and you both get messed with less socially for sharing housing…Teaming up to deal with it all can work if you agree on cause of problem and significant other isn’t calling you a nut or something wrong.) Nothing much to say here, it’s screwed up and I don’t want to even get them started because the parents are STUPID!
My maternal grandmother told me that my dad was controlling. I feared my dad growing up. Didn’t feel loved by him. It’s sad bc I now realize he always loved me. But as a kid I thought he hated me bc he yelled so much when I was growing up.