I’ve only had two therapy sessions so far, but I already feel like I understand myself a little better.
Family really does have a big impact on who we become… My parents have always avoided taking any responsibility for the problems I’ve had or still have in life, but when I talk about it, I realize—God, no matter how hard I try, sometimes I still explode, become chaotic, say terrible, unpleasant things.
Sometimes I desperately want to be noticed and hugged—even if the situation isn’t right for it, even if it’s completely inappropriate.
I really want to understand myself better; I really want to learn to control my personality, which sometimes feels like a wild horse.
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That’s good news !
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Just remeber its normal to have those issues coffee…
People struggle with all kinds of stuff and those are just your version. If you co.e to trust your therapists i think honesty and being vulnerable can help…that way they get a real picture of you and your situation
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I know… when I think about it—there are people who face very serious things, much more serious problems.
My chaos scares me because when I’m angry, I don’t think about what I say.
I’m trying to change that, to control myself—but I’m really struggling.
I mean, it feels like I’m not even choosing how I act…
That’s why I want to change! @signless
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I “acted out” a lot during my early and mid 20s because of my parents. It only came under my control once I moved into my own place - sometimes distance from a dysfunctional family helps. It reorganises the dynamics to a more functional one. Wishing you more progress
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Child-parent relationships can have an affect on us throughout our lives. We all want to be appreciated and loved, and when our parents don’t meet those needs it lowers our self-esteem.
Maybe when you talk to your parents about it you reach a point where the communication breaks down. The singer George Michael had an album called Listen Without Prejudice. It’s always helpful to not be accusatory. I’m sure your parents did the best that they were able to do. Were they perfect? No, but you’re not perfect either. Try to hear the feeling of what they’re saying instead of the details, and then you can express your feelings to them.
I hope the therapy is helpful.
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I have the same problem…
Only thing ive found is how you think and live your life when not angry effects when your on automatic. I think thats what this teacher i follow says and thats what ive followed and it works sometimes…
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Give yourself a big pat on the back for going to therapy about this. I know the way that we’re raised can affect us the rest of our lives, but we have to take responsibility for who we are and how we handle things once we’re adults. You seem pretty mature and I think you’ll be able to do this. Again, you have to give yourself a lot of credit for going to therapy to work through this.
For context, my brother, sister and I grew up in an abusive, alcoholic home, where both of our parents were alcoholics. My brother, at age 45, still sends us rants about how difficult things were growing up and my parents are to blame for how he feels about life today. In the meantime, he’s alienated his only child who lives close by.
What I’m trying to say is, he’s not taking any responsibility for his actions and neither is he trying to work through this with therapy. Instead, he abuses alcohol and drugs. He also doesn’t take medication for depression, PTSD, ADHD and anxiety. This is probably a bad scenario, but you working through this young means you don’t turn into this type of a person later on in life. My brother‘s story is just one of many like this.
I think you’re on the right path to feeling better about yourself and having a healthy and fulfilling life.
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“Drama Queen” or “Attention Whore”
I think the polite way of referring to this is…
“Main Character Energy” 
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This really reminds me of my brother — he also uses drugs and alcohol, does nothing to make his life even a bit more stable or better. The threats and bad behavior sometimes make me think that my brother is essentially a sociopath who no longer cares about other people.
My brother has also never wanted to take responsibility, even for the bad things he’s done in life.
My brother and I are very different — I really try to grow, move forward, and change, while he doesn’t care. I even suspect that among the substances he uses is fentanyl… he has become very paranoid, unstable, and even negative.
In truth, we create our lives ourselves — that’s a big truth. It’s just sometimes hard to understand how to build a life, what is right and what isn’t. But I’m determined to move forward. @HollyHobbie
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