Well, I got everybody pulling for me to succeed

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I’m struggling at work. I can do the work required but I’m noticibley slower than I used to be. I took two months off of work and even though I tried to take walks around my new neighborhood as often as I could to stay in shape, I am tired. I walk around exausted most of the day. My bosses are being tolerant and helpful so far but I don’t want to push my luck and take it for granted…

But schizophrenia is kicking my ass, it’s taking things away from me, that I thought no one would ever be be take. Schizophrenia doesn’t care about your personal dignity. If I relax when I’m peeing, the damn schizophrenia will change the way I’ve been doing it for 54 years. I hate to sound stupid or delusional but my point which I’m making is that I can’t take anything for granted.

But I just got back from my sisters house. We celebrated my birthday with both my sisters, my step-dad, my nephew and his wife and their newborn twin girls. Whenever I see them it is a reality check in many different ways. They like me, they help me, they support me, they give me advice. They have no ulterior motives. When I look at their eyes I see honesty, friendliness, and acceptance. I do not get any of those things a lot in my life so it’s so comforting to relax and not have to keep my guard up.

They want to see me get back on my feet, but I have to do my part and help myself and it’s really not complicated, I go to my groups, I get out of the house, I take it easy where I live. But all the support you guys give me and encouragement is helpful beyond belief. So I thank you for that.
Pat yourselves on the back folks, for helping me.

But yeah, I’m at a new clinic where I have a case manager, a new therapist and a psychiatrist. But my life is not just about an illness. It’s about living life. and it’s about being in society on a regular basis. It’s about being grateful for what I got, its about making sure I take time out to go to the park, or out to eat out occasionally, or taking leisurely walks to de-stress. It’s about working on myself and being a good person which is very important to me.

Anyway, life’s a gamble but it’s possible to get the odds in your favor. Here’s my new favorite saying courtesy of the army soldiers where I work.

“Born to lose
Live to win”.

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We sure are pulling for you to succeed, as we are for everyone on the forums.

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Yeah, I know :slight_smile: Good luck to all of us.

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Sounds like you have a very supportive family. That’s really heart warming to hear. You also have a very positive attitude despite life’s challenges—I find that inspiring.

But what I really want to know is—did you have potatoes for your birthday lunch?:grin:

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You gotta just keep trying to kick life in it’s keister! Keep on keeping on!

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Thanks. There’s a potato famine in my local supermarket. We were stuck eating week-old cabbage and crusts of bread.

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Whaaatttttt?!!! :scream:

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Your family sounds great Nick, you’re very lucky.
You’re an inspiration for me not to give up when times are hard. Thank you for existing!

A big hug

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I’m tired too. I believe I’m more tired than someone who has not had to fight just to think straight… I’m tired to my core. But, I also keep on and try to maintain a balance. I have a job that can be demanding at times, but I take time off when I have to, understanding that that’s best for everyone. You have a good support system where you’re at, and it sounds like you’re smart about your choices. Your posts on here are always clever and encouraging, so I’m glad you gain encouragement as well. This is a wonderful resource for sure.

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