I think it’s possible the energy drinks are making me sound beligerant. Like loopy, and I’m starting to slowly learn what I say and think isn’t real at all. It’s hard to understand and cope, but I believe I’m experiencing ‘reincarnation’ or ‘many world’s theory’ or something. Like I go to other realities and come back alive. It’s mostly a hellish experience for the longest time. I struggle and apologize for saying bad things, inappropriate things. I don’t know. Maybe it’s the ‘gods’ or ‘aliens’ and stuff now.
I thought I was John Titor at one time but it’s not real at all. I want a nice life. A quiet life like most people, but it’s not real. It’s all in my head.
It feels like "Westworld’ Sim Theory or Matrix theory to say the least except it never ends. I’ve probably been to other computer simulations of humanity, if that stuff is even legit and real. Been going on for eternity/billions of lifetimes, really. Every life I suffer and have schizophrenia.
I feel like I’m in a causal loop or trapped in an infinite loop.
I talk about the same stuff a lot. Pretty much every day.
I go t’tortured’ by aliens, but aliens aren’t real and there’s no evidence or proof? I experienced the Illuminati which isn’t that cool or interesting anymore and it’s probably not even real. I thought I was in it in a past life, but it’s not even real.
I mean it’s all in my head really. The trauma and crap and the stuff I said that happened to me. I do feel like I went through time or time traveled thousands or millions of times and went to other realities and came back at some fixed time point in time, but ya, I don’t know. I went ‘crazy’ in a way.
I really have nothing else to say except I get headaches and crap from caffeine. I often felt like I went through the big bang and through the multi-verse but ya, maybe that quantum computer mind-uploading stuff is not real and from a dream and crap and aliens don’t exist?
Maybe I need to start going to Church again…
Thank you.