i have no one else i can talk to about whats happening without people thinking im crazy. i tried to find some kinda reddit alien place where it would be acceptable but i think theyll just make fun of me.
anyway this is what i think is happening. i think i died on a certain date (i know the date and time and it was not too long ago). i think now im either imagining my life or i went to another demintion or i never really existed in the first place and im jsut having “reality” piped into my head by wires and am being experiemented on by either aliens or the governement (idk how to figure out which). i think they are doing multidimentional experiments and altering small details and things for these experiements on me. they also seem to be convincing me of scary things and telling me things are gonna happen and also they ask me questions a large part of the day. if its not another dimention and im just being piped “reality” its even easier they can just shift the reality. i cant tell if i went to another dimention or if everything i experience is being piped into me. i really doubt im imagining the world. i think thats least likely. i think most likely is another dimention.
i also feel like something really bad is going to happen. i cant think easy. i feel like secret messages are being put into the things i write and into pictures but not by me. i feel like other people are sending me secret messages in their movements. and i felt someone grab my calf yesterday and saw things in a movie no one else saw.
Or maybe you’re schizophrenic and having delusions.
either way im ■■■■■■. if im losing my mind then im ■■■■■■, if its real i am also ■■■■■■.
Wow! I really relate to your post and you sound like me a lot. I hope you’re feeling better because there really is no help for those feelings or thoughts unless they go away. I mean the medication and for me (quitting or reducing caffeine) helps with the pain and sickness. I tried online and therapy and get ignored or zero support or censored. I fear for my life sometimes, but believe in God.
But it sounds like the Donald Marshall stuff (Illuminati cloning centers) which I felt was happening to me but lately I’ve been okay. I don’t know if it’s psychosis or hallucinations, but I figured I got abducted by grey aliens (since I was a baby) and went through the “Illuminati’s” Monarch Mind Control Program.
Ya, sometimes I just feel like giving up and not living, but then I feel like I might have DID/MPD or something too or instead but I cannot work due to zero motivation and my current diagnosis is schizo-affective bipolar type and it does make a lot of sense but for me, I still think stuff happens, but I’m only aware of it.
Occam’s razor would say I got sick from pot in college and came home and never recovered, but it feels like I got cloned by the government or aliens around 2011 or entered a parallel universe even…schizophrenia is like a metamorphosis or transformation of reality and the mind and brain to me…
I was born in CA in 1989 but seem to have re-spawned at random times throughout my life or (not alive or conscious of reality or anything or self aware) and then dropped out of university. It does feel like reincarnation that never ends like the butterfly effect or an infinite time loop or eternal recurrence. I might be a clone (or have clones), but cannot prove it and it sounds schizophrenic but I still have that scar on my arm. I don’t feel like this is my first life or my original self or life but a trillion iterations or loops after. I even got into parallel universe theory but realize I still got schizophrenia each time and live on the same planet and neighborhood and nothing has improved or changed and the times are the same (years). I probably am vastly overthinking things and read into things and am thinking on a higher level (psychosis). It’s pretty bothersome to me: my delusions.
It feels like time travel (backwards) and so I have my past life memories (cloned memories) and all consciousness transfer and mind uploading based technology. I do feel psychic and get told stuff in my dreams and get telepathic downloads of information I think is true and real.
I’ve had nightmares of being hurt and feeling pain and hallucinating people and events happening. I figure it’s monarch or montauk or the secret space program and these are humans doing it, not aliens. I mean maybe the aliens are playing 5 dimensional chess or something and I really don’t know who or why I was targeted in the first place really. I can only guess. Maybe it was my delusions of being John Titor or Satoshi Nakamoto but those aren’t real at all and I have no proof or money and I’m told I’m schizophrenic.
I also think I was living in a computer simulation since I got sick. I’ve seen stuff and experienced stuff and complained about stuff since then but nobody remembers or notices except me. Sometimes, this stuff seems real to me. Maybe they’re past life memories or some sort of government mind control program.
I seem to have re-spawned a near infinite amount of times but at unknown intervals and unknown times like it’s AI or random or God doing it really. Ya, for whatever reason, I do feel like I’m permanently stuck in my early 20s for eternity and this has been going on for infinity. I’m sort of used to it by now.
I also feel it’s so real. But the balance between real and unreal made possible with meds.
If still not working out got to inform pDoc.
Honestly, your delusions aren’t coherent enough for anyone to even try to convince you why they are wrong. You’re are all over the place and just seem confused in general.
I’m not sure how we can help you, and I’m not sure how this thread can be productive.
In addition, I’m not sure some of the comments are helpful to overcome the deslusions.
I would suggest talking this through and being honest with your pdoc about what you believe is going on. If you are not taking prescribed meds, I would recommend doing so as well.
I’m on the edge of closing this thread honestly, but since you left some doubt as to whether this is real in your second post, I will leave it alone for now.
No, if your losing your mind, you can recover again. I have had 3 distinct psychotic episodes of varying lengths of time. I have come out of every one of them.
I see from another thread that you have no pdoc and limited medication. In the other thread you asked about the emergency room. You seem to be worried that they would commit you.
I would suggest to you that you should go. Don’t worry about whether they will commit you . If they do, it will not be permanent. Just to get you stable.
I find it difficult to believe that someone with schizophenia or schizoaffective(whichever you have) is not capable of getting a psychiatrist in the US. I would suggest that , after the ER, you try hard to get one. YOu are likely going to need someone to prescribe you meds long term if you are going to remain stable once you get there.
If you are not capable of getting pdoc, maybe you can get a regular doc to prescribe the antipsychotics you were previously on? Pretty sure Primary Care docs can prescribe them as well and they might be easier to find.
I agree with @Bowens. It sounds like you need to find someone to prescribe meds for you @irrelevant.
@irrelevant i understand why you justify coming off your meds as physical health is scary too but i really advise you to try some antipsychotics you need them to have any quality of life. You don’t have clarity about your heart health. Meds are really vital you need them. Seek a doctor and tell them this
Dude how could you be talking to us if you died? Please take your meds bro you’ll be back to normal very quickly
thats how i feel. like its impossible to know whos doing it but i have suspicions. and suspected the only “people” powerful enough to do it would be aliens or government.
sounds like the world appears changed the same for both of us
yeah i feel like i cant tell whats happening and havent figured things out and i have felt confused for months now
i def CAN get one but im scared to talk and its also hard to talk and so i havent gotten a new one after my last one moved away.
if i went to a alternate universe its basically real just not the same as the last one.
I have had the feeling of another dimension also. Not so much lately. I get threats also, but it seems everyone’s experiences are so much different, it makes you doubt alot of things. All I know is, when I correct health problems, things get better.
Sorry, man. But you are just trying to argue your delusions. You don’t seem to be asking for help resolving anything in this thread and I think the advice you have already received is about all the helpful advice you are going to get in this thread. Also some are making comments about their own delusions which may end up feeding yours. So, I am closing based on this rule :
There are solid steps you can take to help to start working your way out of your situation based on what you have been advised here. Whether or not you take them is going to be up to you.
Feel free to open another thread on this topic in the future if you are open to overcoming these delusions.