Does anyone else feel like your sz has taken your future away from you?
I was talking to my roommate’s friend last night, she’s in law school. That was the plan for my life. Either law school, or going back to do a Master’s and then eventually a PhD.
I graduated with honors in 2017, around the time I started hearing voices…
i felt like that a long time… i would have done well in life prob if it wasn’t for my illness. But now these days i accepted my faith and i feel ok with it now.
I don’t know what’s causing me memory and thinking problems. I too graduated with a 4.0 gpa from college. But now I can’t think clearly anymore. It’s hard to accept and deal with
Back in the early 60s to mid 70s, when I was at school, there was nothing like the help and support there is now. Though even now things could and should be better.
The non academic things that made going to college/uni too difficult were never tackled. That was because nobody within mental health services etc saw the things that made it too difficult. It took 46 years to get the dx that was a major reason for those difficulties. You can also throw in severe social anxiety as another source of non academic difficulty.
There was no point at which going to college/uni was viable, because there has never been the help and support to make that possible.
The point at which any potential I had peaked was when I was 16, and had done O levels. Things went downhill from there. I was bright enough to know that I was not up to coping with the non academic side of college/uni life. Yet I was expected to be the 1st one to do so. When you’re in a constant state of hyper anxiety, as I was, it really ***** you up mentally. Especially for anyone like me who has quite a low threshold when it comes to coping with stress.
Yeah. I’m actually feeling this right now. It makes me suicidal, which is what I feel right now. It’s gutting.
I feel more that people in my life caused me to have schizophrenia and robbed me of my future. To be fair though, I just don’t really succeed. Maybe its because I don’t do what I’m supposed to do to get somewhere. Don’t know, but I think it was clear in high school that I wasn’t going to get anywhere.
I still have hopes for my future because I believe in low doses of medication to be used…( if your illness is not that severe ) if I had to stay on invega then I would say my future is to look bleak… some people need a heavier drug and dose which is sad… I don’t think I’m one of those people but I’m still early days in my recovery so we’ll have to see… it all depends on how severe your illness is and how much symptoms you can learn to handle… I personally think that most schizos should live with a certain amount of symptoms in order to be on a low dose of medication and function… some however can not do this and to those who can’t I am sorry…
I rack my brains over this sometimes. The conclusion I’ve come to is I lived a different life than the one I wanted. And I think that’s ok, because most people do.
Life never goes to plan for most people in my opinion.
My daughter got a PhD. I could have done a lot better. I always felt like I was overwhelmed with interference. But maybe I just made stupid decisions.
Does your daughter have schizophrenia?
Well, I wanted to have a standing in the community, and that didn’t come about.
Don’t put the carat before the horse. Your social needs come first and I’m not talking about sororities/fraternities. I’m talking about having a few close, supporting friends to help you.
Yes, I do feel that schizophrenia has taken away 10-20 years of my potential life away from me. Schizophrenia has forced me to abandon my promising career, potential significant other and possible family such as children and grandchildren.
No. But I explained to her what it is, and why I sometimes need to go to the hospital
Yes, I have no future, just to exist and hope I make it day by day, I’m lucky to have what I have but it’s nowhere close to what I had before.
Yes… and sometimes I feel like venting to people about my dilemma but I don’t see the point of ruining their day with my darkness…and sometimes want to give up, and I wake up every morning and try to fight the good fight
No. She’s nothing like me. Nothing bothers her. She’s more like her dad.
I could have a pHD in Sociology by now, and be an author with published papers working in some University.
Shame my psychosis came back in my final year of study.
Would have been a kick-ass sociologist - I was pretty good at it, and I really love the subject despite the criticism some give it.
Ouch! I don’t want to sound too superior, but I’ve sometimes thought there were some jobs that it might be better for everyone if people did something else. Take lawyers, for instance. Is there really that much that needs to be settled, that much that needs to be decided, between all these companies and firms? Do they have to pour over all these tomes just to scratch their ass? Maybe so. Who knows, we could have some type of constitutional crisis where lawyers turn out to be the glue that holds society together. But there are other jobs which I doubt the usefulness of. I sometimes think about what it would be like to have a strict socialist economy. They could have five different types of vehicles for the consumer, with not that much difference in price. We could use meat more as a seasoning than as a main course, with much less fuss over large amounts of fattening food devoid of nutrients. This system could have some, but not very much, difference in the quality of life for its citizens. I don’t know. I’m just maundering. It probably wouldn’t work, but there are a number of people who think capitalism is killing us.
I have some bitterness about both what I’ve lost in the last 13 years and what I will lose in the future. I’ve been trying to forgive myself and others I blame (due to delusional thoughts), as well as trying to take a more gentle view on who I am now and what I should expect of myself.
There is a lot of wisdom in not comparing yourself to others, only to yourself yesterday. Also I find myself listening to the Tao Te Ching and find it’s surrendering to nature theme very calming. I still have my bad days though.