I am losing my energy. I just want to be alone in my apartment. It is too much effort to be around people. Since my beloved died 5 months ago I’ve been nonstop active. Now I just want to hole-up and be alone. I haven’t been sleeping regularly lately. That’s usually a bad news indicator. I don’t want to up my meds. The people on the other side of the window haven’t become too nasty or unbearable. Its getting tough to be with people and trying to focus on what they are saying and block out everything that’s going on around me. When I’m alone I feel safe. What do you do when other people expect you to keep up the routine, and you just can’t do it anymore?
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I just want to be alone sometimes and sometimes I want a mate. I am bi-polar in that regard. I wish I could make up my mind. Although it’s easier when I tell myself that I probably will be alone most of my life. Because if I don’t scare off a girl the first day, I will probably scare her off on day 2. I don’t know what I want to do. But I want to be alone. I just want to live in a forest with alcohol and graze through the fields all day, tend to my farm, but that’s unrealistic.
I too have a disinclination to be around people. I feel safer when I am alone. Of course, I’m in a place where I have very little responsibility. I do find that I have at least a small need for company from other people. If you keep on the way you are you mind find yourself stuck in your current frame of mind. If you don’t think you need many friends I guess that is okay. I would take care not to cut myself off completely. Sometimes large amounts of solitude can weigh on you like a crushing weight.
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what do I do when people expect you to keep up? I let them expect away LOL
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It`s natural to have some time alone to grieve.
Sounds like you need it after so much activity and your loss. **
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I understand liking solitude. After years of living alone I learned to be happy with myself through looking for hope in the world. I hope you find hope.
really sorry you lost your loved one.
take care 
here is some cake i baked you 
and a rainbow.
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