I usually stay upbeat and positive, but that is just the surface. Deep down on my heart I have a spot of sorrow and mourning for all these bad lucks I had through this mental illness. Today I got a stomach pain so that I was very uncomfortable. It is another day that I would be idle and unproductive. My goal is to publish a book within 2 or 3 years. but today I was so frustrated that I could do nothing on my reading and writing due to the stomach pain.
Life is so hard for us schizophrenic!
Hey dear, life is hard for everyone. My goal is to publish my book too, so I totally understand your sorrow when you have to stay away from your creative work. But stomach aches are common to all people, so is writer’s block and idleness.
I hope you will be better off soon. Remember: pain is part of being alive and you are lucky to be still young, later on there will be more days like this and less productive days, you will have to learn to cope with it, with pain. All of us will, if we want to keep staying productive and creative. Our bodies degenerate then we die. But how awesome is it to be alive, to have projects and to be able to work towards their fulfillment despite our weaknesses?
I would love to read what you are writing. Make this horrible day a day for sharing and for re-calibrating. Is your book, perhaps, a book about survival? Tell us how it goes, you will find the strength to go on soon, I promise. 
I always try to imagine what it must be like to have this illness, but no matter how hard I would try, it probably wouldn’t come even close to what it must be really like. I’m sorry you feel so bad today… Better days will be coming again. Hugs.
Go ahead and cry. I am right now.
I’m sorry for your pain my friend
There is nothing wrong with crying, as long as you’re not trying to emotionally blackmail someone.
Thank you Zupa for your encouraging words. That lifted my mood. I was frustrated not only by stomach ache but also by the difficulty writing the book I planed. Also by my concentration problem. The stomach pain was the last straw breaking the back of the camel.
But your words really cheered me up.
BTW, the book I planed to write is about Zen Buddhism and Taoist thinking and its influence in arts and everyday life. I hope I can write it in a style that is inspirational . In the mean time I doubt I have such ability or I can measure up to such a standard. Anyway I am in the early stage of conceiving (struggling).
Wow, now I definitely want to read your book. I am passionate about the (anthropo)genesis of thoughts we use in everyday life, and the fact that you are making a duo between arts and everyday life regarding such an interesting religion is making me crave for that text… 
I am not a religious person, But if I were to choose a religion to , say, have my marital vows taken in, it would definitely be Buddhism.
It sounds like a struggle for anyone, I respect your determination, please please finish that book so I can read it.
Love,
Zupa
I usually hold back my negative feelings and moods because I know moods can be contagious. So when I posted “I want to cry” on this site, I felt a bit guilty.
I am sorry, the book is in Chinese as my English is not good enough for writing an inspirational book.
Well, write it well and get it translated. This is what I plan to do with my book. Hope we will both succeed and be able to share.
I love to write, just for fun, and I think of it as the tide.
Somedays… it’s a burst and the words just flow onto the page, my fingers are flying and it’s all humming along so perfectly. I can’t believe how much I can get down on the page in just a few hours.
A day or so after that… dry. Nothing. Extracting a thought is very hard. The tide is out… my beach is dry. I barely have words to spare when trying to order a meal. I hate that.
But the waters have to refill the glass of creativity. When the glass is full again, I can continue again.
I hope you feel better soon and even the best writers in the world have a few days of slump.
Be patient with yourself and let your creative energy recharge.
I`m probably reading these days later-but hope you are doing better today. You know this is the place to vent, cry, be happy…