I want to feel something soon

So I fight, but I want to feel already something. Maybe I lack feelings. Maybe my thinking is screwed up too. But gosh, why I don’t feel anything normal since years???
I even talk with difficulties sometimes. Will it come with time?
At least, I don’t change my meds anymore. They are not big help, but I tried every possible med, so theres no point to look for something better.
What do I lack? Maybe when you lack positive emotions like this, the life is hard? Will I be able to recover on the talking part too?
Maybe my personality is inexistent too. But I want to feel something. Cause now I know that what I feel is not ok. I somatize a lot too, which is a pain. Tell me, that you ended up feeling normally… Maybe we have derealization too, no? whatever.
hugs to all

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it’s possible to feel too much too

strange thing I do, I get up from the laptop and go into the kitchen

then I ask myself, am I really in the kitchen?

or I leave an event and come home, and ask Phil
am I still at the event?

I chalk it up to having a spirit.

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I live so much in my head in some moments, not by my fault, that it feels like i am floating in my head… gosh, i want to feel my body, not this energy for god sake :disappointed_relieved: have i my chances to stop somatizing like this??? The other thing is that i watch the people on the tv and i wonder how do they survive among all the anthipathy the others can have for them sometimes. Maybe i am weak. But i am tired of my symptoms. Should i give the meds more time and my efforts? I am really desperate that i feel strange things in my body. Who else somatize badly too?

Many hugs Anna !!!
You are strong. You survived until now.

Be more positive. Small steps every day. Go out and watch the autumn trees. Breathe deeply. Eat honey. It’s good for the brain.
No doctor can cure you. Medicine only stops the voices and delusions. The rest is up to us.

Thank you very much,andrey for the hugs. I am really afraid that i annoy you still. But why do i float like this in my head? Terrible, lol… i want normal thinking and positive emotions.

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What is the last book that you’ve read? The last movie you’ve seen? The last song you’ve listened to?

Feed positive things to your mind. Always.

Don’t watch horror movies, don’t listen to sad songs.

The brain can be rewired. It’s called neuroplasticity. It’s never too late. Please don’t give up!!

Hugs again.

Well, i read and watch movies all the time. But i am tired of my somatic symptoms. How do you see the fact that i float in my head by paranoia? Does schizophrenics have strange symptoms like this?
I read now the short stories of Bukowski. My last movie was “loving pablo” on pablo escobar. But gosh, why my efforts are not paying still? Because of too many years of illness or what? And the others, pls tell me if you have strange somatic symptoms too? Do the meds work on them?

I’m not sure what you mean by somatic symptoms.

Akathisia? Tardive Dyskenisia? These are the only symptoms I know of that make you move. When I get upset sometimes my hand makes an a-ok sign, i used to apply thought insertion to that and get mad at some unseen entity for making me do it, but it just happens sometimes.

I mean all kind of sensations in your body, who are painful and abnormal. Like strong weakness, or to feel some tiring and bad energy in your body. Or to focus so much on my head, that I feel my brain in my head. Or to feel emotional pain, instead of having stable emotions. Chest pain too, stomach tightness also by fear. all kind of things who are called psychosomatic.

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