My wife come from a poor family and she has three siblings. She is bad tempered and always snarls at my son and me. She would not like have sex with me and we just had sex about ten times in the last 12 years.
Do you suggest that I divorce her? I am 45 years old now and My son is 12 years old.
You are a good man
I mean don’t wanna derail the thread much, but there are many aspects and circumstances that we don’t know about you to suggest you whether or not to divorce your wife.
But perhaps you have a child, and how your child would feel about your divorce should be a vital point to consider. I suppose.
Maybe wait till he has reached a statutory age where he is considered an adult? Maybe things would change by then? Or maybe not…
Thank you for your advice. It is really a dilemma for me. You know in China the parent’s divorce will affect their child’s marriage when the child grows up. For example, a young man whose parents have divorced have to find a young woman as a wife whose parents got divorced too. Probably, things will change when my son grows up.
Oh Lordy… parents divorcing shouldn’t affect the child’s own relationships…
But yeah, you should look at it from a perspective with more distal benefits
I think that things could change gradually. Now, Chinese governments have abandoned one-child policy， so things could change.
Does she have any good qualities? Did you ever love her?
I think it’s a cultural thing. @yinyang correct me if I’m wrong but don’t the parents arrange the marriage in China?
Yes, Chinese parents do play the role of matchmaker for their child in certain circumstances. For example, my older male cousin is currently being matched with the daughter of an in-law. I was told that the in-law parents just met my cousin and the in-law parents approve of him. Now, it all comes to if the daughter of the in-law approves of my cousin. This is currently happening today, in North America. We, Chinese still hold these traditional values.
There is a psychological affect on the child that when the parents divorce, the child will blame themselves for the parents divorce. The divorce is very detrimental on all 3 people involved.
Yes, the Chinese government now permits a 3-child policy because the birth rate of the younger generation refuse to get married and have children. The costs of raising a child has increased dramatically.
I totally agree with your 看法。这个情况真的很难过。
Also, it is not easy for a man with Sz to find a wife. I didn’t tell my wife I have Sz before we got married. 所以，我们冷静下来后，再一起生活。
It’s true about the cost of raising children increasing dramatically.
什么样的女人会想要我们这个精神分裂的丈夫？
She do has some good qualities, but there are little love between us. My son is the only message transmitter between my wife and me.
@walterchang I opened this new thread for you and moved your posts and responses to your posts from the other thread.
Thank you moonbeam.
It sounds like it would be difficult to find somebody else. I’d take that into serious consideration if you don’t like being alone.
Boy, I don’t know what to say in a situation like this. I certainly wish you all the best in improving it.
No I wouldn’t divorce her it sounds like you may benefit from couples therapy maybe she has hidden anxiety, fears, or resentments that need to be discussed