Random (outgrowing people/relationships)

My mom and I were discussing on the phone the other day reasons why people get divorced and or leave relationships…

I brought up the fact that people outgrow the other person and or sometimes one person changes and the other doesn’t like that they changed… or maybe the one who changed doesn’t like that the other isn’t changing… you get the point.

Well, I told my mom that if either me or my husband were to be the one to leave cause they’ve “grown”- it would be my husband.

He has a good job now.
He’s capable of doing everything on his own.
He’s a FULL FLEDGED ADULT NOW.

I on the other hand still kind of feel like a child. Unfortunately. Like I still need taken care of.

Anyways, now it’s a new thing in the back of my mind like… what if the husband outgrows me :sob:

He’s told me before that he doesn’t believe in divorce and that I’m stuck with him forever…

I don’t know, I fear I haven’t grown up enough.

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I know & understand that my culture is very different from Western culture but couples from my background usually stay together until their elderly age. Now I get that this concept is different from your upbringing and your expectations but I just wanted to share what my family and “her” family expectations are.

I hope everything works out for you @anon61987434

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That’s just a whacky theory you came up with over the phone. It’s not necessarily fact.

Also men only initiate 30% of divorces so you’re safe statistically!

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Thanks, it’s probably an irrational fear right now but just wanted to share it lol

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I think you’ll be ok @anon61987434. He doesn’t want to leave.

You sound like you’re too hard on yourself.

Kind regards,

SpringRose
(I’m eternally too hard on my myself too)

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Well, that’s good I suppose :joy:

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Thanks @HollyHobby

Maybe I am being too hard on myself/over-analyzing.

I mean, nothing he’s done has hinted he wants to leave. It’s just a random new fear in the back of my head like “I need to do better”

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I think it’s more about strengths and what you bring to the relationship. I don’t know your partner. But I think from what you post, you are warm, nurturing, kind and dedicated to your family. Those are very strong qualities you bring to the relationship, while his strengths seem more practical.

At the end of the day every relationship is 50/50. If you both want the relationship to work then it will. The problem arises when one person wants to call it quits and the other doesn’t. You shouldn’t ever feel trapped though. If your relationship isn’t working out, you should have the ability to leave. Just because a certain culture or religion or person says you can’t doesn’t mean that’s true.

Do what you think is best at the end of the day. Just don’t feel inadequate in your relationship. Value yourself and know your worth.

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That’s very true….

And thanks, I should work on this more.

Also thanks for all the wise words

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At the end of the day you are equal to him. I mean sometimes I feel like a fecking idiot around my husband who knows a lot about James K Polk but at the end of the day I can still beat him in mariokart as Toad and I know how to turn on a gas stove without blowing up the house. :joy: So my man can just bite me. :rofl:

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LMAO!

@sweetpotatopie

That does make me feel better for real

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Yeah I can beat my hubby in a racing game as a MUSHROOM riding a fecking pink scooter. A scooter. That’s where the real talent lies. :rofl::rofl::rofl:

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That is quite the flex right there :sunglasses:

@sweetpotatopie

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In terms of who the children respect more, I’ve earned all that. That’s right. :rofl:

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Yeah, I would just try to take it easy ya know?

There’s been things you’ve shared about your husband and I think he sounds like a really solid dude. And I don’t think he’s going anywhere. It sounds like he truly loves you, and is devoted to you.

Take care.

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@anon61987434

You are raising a child.

That’s ■■■■■■■ a lot of work.

And your husband regularly puts you in pretty difficult situations all the time.

You handle them all very well.

It’s easy for me to look at my husband and say the same.

He has a killer career,

He pays all the bills,

He can handle most situations that come his way.

Fact is I do a lot.

Just like you do.

In a partnership like marriage,

It isn’t all about things being even,

It’s about putting in equal effort.

You do that.

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Thanks Monte!

That makes me feel better too.

I’m just full of self doubt I guess lol

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I understand ma’am. I used to be that way too.

Then I turned into a cocky little ■■■■!

:joy:

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Thank you @Charles_Foster

You are good at putting things in perspective!

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LOL!

And we love you for it :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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