I called the psychiatrist place today. It’s basically a whole clinic setup where they have you see a therapist at first, and then if they feel it is necessary, they set you up with one of their psychiatrists. It’s mandatory that patients see one of their therapists in order to have access to a psychiatrist.
I went to this place several years ago, at least 6 years ago, and saw a therapist there for a few months, so they have me in their system, but that therapist no longer works there. I called them over a year ago trying to get a psychiatrist, but that is when they told me I would have to see one of their therapists, and I already had a therapist, so I ruled it out as an option.
Well I guess they put a $10 on my file since I had inquired but never signed on? I don’t know where else in the world this mysterious $10 balance came from. But I agreed to pay it when I have my first appointment. I also agreed to start by seeing one of their therapists before getting to see a psychiatrist.
The receptionist lady told me she would process my information, and they would call me to set up the first appointment appointment. That was this afternoon and they haven’t called yet. Kind of racking up my anxiety, wondering if they will never call.
Part of the anxiety is because my mother is kind of sabotaging. She has this complex where she acts like she is frustrated with me not getting help, until I try to get help, and then she tries to undermine it. She knew I would be calling this place today to get an appointment, so she texted me this morning informing me that Taco Bell is hiring.
I didn’t respond to the text at all, because I know it’s bait for an argument. When I was trying to get a job this past early Autumn, she was constantly trying to undermine my confidence with things like, “Are you sure it’s a good idea to be working?” (referring to my mental problems) and so on. She even made a comment about how something bad might happen to me when I’m walking home from work, if I get a job.
Well I lost that job due to psychosis and anxiety, and my mother tried to get an argument started by making comments about how me working for 2 months before becoming psychotic proved that I can hold down a job. I just ignored the comments and didn’t take the bait, didn’t argue, didn’t say anything.
Now that I am going to try getting help again, she is going to try to push hard for me getting some meaningless part time min-wage job to try to destabilize me while I’m trying to work on a treatment plan. She hasn’t made a peep about me not having a job in months, but the DAY I am trying to get a psych appointment, she starts with it.
I really hope they actually call me.
anytime… 
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