I’ve been having a hard time because the good vice in my head has been telling me to quit college. Usually the good voice tells me not to quit college. So I’m pretty freaked out. The good voice says he doesn’t want me to go to hell, so I have to quit. I’m taking a tough class this semester and he is worried I’ll get a C, and I’m worried that if I get a C I’ll go to hell forever.
I know this all sounds crazy, but I feel like I was given signs from God that if I get a C I’ll go to hell. So I’m having a real hard time with stress at school over my grades.
I don’t want to quit college, but I feel like I have to. I really feel like God gave me signs that I will go to hell if I don’t quit. No matter how many people tell me things will be okay I never believe it because I feel like I was given supernatural signs.
The bad voice always tells me to quit college. I’m just scared now because the good voice is telling me to quit and that doesn’t usually happen. The good voice says “maybe you’re right” and “I don’t want you to go to hell. So you better quit.”
I think it is great that you are in college. It is really brave. Keep at it.
But It sounds like part of you may suspect that this is delusional thinking. Have you spoken to a therapist about this? It might help to get someone else’s perspective. If not a therapist someone you trust.
If it helps, I made a bunch of 'C’s and I’m still here. It sounds like it is possible college might be stressing you out. That is perfectly understandable. College can be a really stressful place. Do you know of any techniques to deal with being stressed out like meditation etc? Or maybe you could go somewhere quiet and listen to some music to sort of help yourself destress while you wait to talk to someone.
I try to do things to relieve the stress. I just really believe everything is true. This bad voice in my head has been saying I’m going to hell since I was a kid. Now the good voice is telling me he’s worried I’m going to hell.
The reason I think I’ll go to hell if I get a C is because I feel like I made a bet with Jesus in my head that I would go to hell if I get a C. For some reason I really think Jesus is out to get me.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. Personally, I’ve never had a happy sz moment. All my voices were mean. I think that made it easier on me than it must be for you. I’ve always thought of my hallucinations as part of my brain being mean to me.
Is there anyone you trust to help you get perspective right away? Do you maybe need to call a doctor or even go to the ER? I know how scary that can be. And sometimes it can feel embarrassing. But there is no reason to feel that way and it is always better safe than sorry in these circumstances. But you really need someone to talk to who can talk you through this. You can be okay.