Really upset with myself

Today I made a really foolish bet in my head with Jesus. The voices in my head kept telling me to quit college, so I was trying to scare myself away from quitting college. So I bet that I’d be in a coffin forever if I quit. Now I feel like there is no way out. I have a belief that if I get a C I will go to hell in a coffin. So quitting was my way out of things.

Now I feel like there is no way out. I’m either going to get a C or I will quit, but either way I will be buried alive.

I’m so upset with myself now. I feel like I had a way out of this situation, like I could always quit if I was going to get a C. Now I feel like I can’t quit.

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I made a bet with Jesus that if I get a C I would be trapped in a coffin forever. That’s why I’m so worried and upset. I feel like there is no way out.

It’s not real. Jesus is not taking your bet.

Just do your best.


Jesus is busy with other sh*tt. He dosent have time for bets

C’s get degrees. Jesus wouldn’t gamble. You’re not going to a coffin.

Everything is going to be ok :heart:


I just feel like God gave me miraculous signs that my delusions are true. I saw my dad get teleported and a copy replaced him. One of my thoughts is that God will teleport me into a coffin and then he will create a copy of me so no one will care that I’m gone. So I feel like God is giving me signs that he will teleport me into a coffin if I get a C or if I quit college.

Thank you for the kind words. I wish they would help me, but I always feel like I know everything. I feel like I was given signs and miracles so that I would know I’m a bad person and I’m going to hell. No one else understands the signs, but I do. Does this make any sense?

Thank you.

Today the voices told me that if I drop from college they will bury me and create a copy of me. They say “What does a W mean? Double you!” In other words a copy. I’m upset because I felt like I had a way out of this mess. I thought that if I was going to get a C I could just drop from college and everything would be okay. Now I feel like I can’t drop. I feel like I’m trapped.

Thank you for all the kind messages!

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The voice in my head keeps saying “what can you do if God hates you that bad?” He says God will bury me alive if I get a C and God will bury me alive if I quit. Quitting was my only way out and I blew it. I had to make more bets! If only I didn’t make these bets!

No one understands how trapped I feel. I’m between a rock and a hard place. If only I didn’t make bets in my head.

The voice in my head keeps saying “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. What can you do if God hates you so much?”

I don’t believe anyone can help me.

No, it doesn’t make any sense. That is how delusions work. They seem totally obvious to you, but to anyone with a clear mind, you’re just spouting nonsense. Keep working with your doctor on finding the right medication for you. It doesn’t sound like you’re there yet.

I can’t remember if I’ve asked this before, but do you have OCD?

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they are not demons, they are not evil or even literal. the medication has some unpleasant side effects.

I’ve been told I have OCD but I’m not diagnosed. My psychiatrist gave me prozac for OCD.

Are you taking the Prozac? Do you think it’s helping?

I haven’t been taking it. I get paranoid about trying new drugs.

Well, that may be why you’re still having the OCD symptoms. I really think you should try the Prozac to see if it helps.

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You should really try the meds. They’re there to help you.

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I just took my prozac because you guys told me to but I don’t think it matters. The voice in my head says it is the devil and I believe it. I couldn’t imagine a more awful voice. It just laughs at me and makes jokes.

The pills only make it so I can sleep. I’ve tried going off several times and usually I can’t sleep for days. I still hear the voices all the time though even with the pills. That’s why I think it’s the devil.

Sorry, I’m a very religious person. I know I’m not supposed to discuss God or the devil.

The voice I hear is truly awful. He says it is the devil himself. He says “everything is a part of God’s plan. I will torture you forever.”

Have you told your pdoc that you’re still hearing voices regularly? Your pdoc may need to adjust your meds. What meds (besides the Prozac) are you on?

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I’m taking 600 mg Clozaryl and 4 mg Haldol. I really think it is the devil though. I found messages written around my house so I know it’s real and not a figment of my imagination.

It’s not the devil @SnowTiger, it’s a symptom of your illness.

Have you let your pdoc know how you’re feeling? You seem to be suffering quite a bit with the persistent thoughts. It just seems like it would be worthwhile to explore other med options or dosages to see if your symptoms improve.

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The voice says that it’s from the future. He says he traveled back in time in order to torment me. He says he knows the future and I’m going to be in a coffin forever, even at the end of time.

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