Today I was having a good day somewhat. I was volunteering at a homeless shelter.
Then on the way home I made a bet in my head that I would get a C if I went back a block and stepped on a cigarette butt. I didn’t do it, but I’m worried that a particle from my shoe might have blown onto the cigarette butt and the evil voice in my head (who I bet with) will say that I lost the bet.
The problem with this is that I made an earlier bet that if I ever got a C I would be stuck in a coffin (as a form of hell).
So now I’m thinking of quitting college. I was doing really good. I should get straight A’s. But now I believe because I made this bet that I’ll have to get a C and then I’ll be trapped.
Does this make any sense? I really need help. I really don’t want to quit college (especially not at the end of the semester). I just feel like I will go to hell if I don’t quit. I really feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.
I keep doing it in response to the voices. The voices make bets all day long. Then sometimes I make a bet because I want to counteract their bet. Like if the voices say “you have to go back there and step on the cigarette butt or else bad things will happen to you.” I made the bet to scare myself away from doing what the voices want me to do.
My doctor thinks that the bets aren’t real and I shouldn’t pay attention to them. Unfortunately I’m really religious so I believe I made bets with God, Jesus, and the Devil. That is why I’m afraid. I think they will pay me back for them.
I admire you for doing college study while on medication. I know this is hard for you. A “C” is not bad at all. Rather than a list of glowing academic results, being resilient and perseverant are more important. Perfectionism is the worst enemy to us MI people.
Academically, I don’t mind getting a C. It’s just that I feel like I made a bet that I would be trapped in a coffin forever if I ever got one. So I’m deathly afraid of getting a C. I know it doesn’t make any sense but I think that I will literally teleported into a coffin if I get a C.
I’ve seen multiple things (including my own dad) being teleported before. I feel like these are signs from God that he will teleport me when the time comes. So I’m really afraid.
Don’t quit college. You’re doing really well at school it seems.
Tell your pdoc that the voices are really distressing you (both the bets they make and the counter bets you make). Maybe your pdoc can adjust your meds.
Also, there seems to be a strong obsessive-compulsive component to what’s going on with you. Are you on any meds for OCD?
Hello! A college student here.
When I was in my first year of uni, I had this belief that I would never get a good mark because the moon told me so. I was doing really well, too- my marks were fair enough, and it was around GPA 2.8 or something. But my mental health really declined, leading to my hospitalization. I was really worried; I’m an English Language-Lit. major, and the readings I do as an English major are really intense in some degrees. I was in a constant psychotic state and I couldn’t do anything.
But now, I am a third-year student with English and Music minor and I am so glad that I continued on. I want to encourage you to keep pursuing your studies- I do not know you very well, but I wanted to say that you have so much potential, and with this potential you can achieve anything that is in your interest.
I’m thinking of you, and you got this!
If a particle from my shoe lands on the cigarette butt, does that mean I lost the bet? I’m really afraid that the devil will somehow change one of my grades to a C (even though I’m getting A’s so far).
I got 2 Cs and a C+ in college. I also took a couple classes as Ps and I got Ps. I felt really bad and worried I couldn’t find a job. My transfer GPA is like 2.9.