I’ve been hearing voices again. But they’re silent in my head and its almost like they are my own thoughts but are more persistent, so they are foreign thoughts like alien thoughts placed in my head. They tell me I am a hypocrite and a liar because I make them up, and today they say “We are watching you” From where? From a spiritual dimension? Or how? And sometimes I get these thoughts that something bad is going to happen to me. Like if I spill my coffee or I hear someone refer to something bad on TV, then I think it’s going to happen to me and I’d better watch out. Its scary. I was on 2mg haloperidol, but I increased it myself to 3mg, using my husband’s old unused supply (he takes haloperidol too). Luckily I see my pdoc tomorrow so I can tell him about the voices and thoughts. I’m just wondering… am I really hearing voices or am I really a hypocrite and a liar. It seems so real.
i dont think you are a hypocrite or a liar,
its just your condition, things like these happen to people like us, i dont get it much now and it is worse when i am full blown but these things can be very real.
i think of it like talking to yourself, like you know when you go in to a shop and look at all the sweets and you ask yourself will i have that or no you dont want that etc, that is the voice only with us it is intensified and subverted.
That happens to me too. They tell me I’m making things up. And then yhey laugh an call me sz.
Thanks for the replies, its a real comfort!
I know it can feel real, and it’s hard hearing the verbal abuse over and over.
But one thing I’ve been finding has helped kick my voices down is write out the good things in you life. You have a husband, you can to see the ocean, and other stuff that makes your life happy.
If you were a bad person like the voices say, then you wouldn’t have this husband and other support.
It’s a hard fight, and I also hate it when the voices want to play rough. But the fact that you are guessing it’s the voices acting up is a good sign. Your fighting them off… good for you. It takes a lot of energy to do that.
Keep that… remember, you’re not what these voices say you are.
Talking to the doc is great idea.
I threw out my T.V. years ago and I felt better the moment it was gone. I can watch stuff on line if I really want to.
But NO T.V… no surprise blood or horrid stuff.
Don’t doubt yourself.
Clarification: don’t doubt that you are hearing these things and don’t doubt that you are hearing them because you are sick.
We have a special sort of strength from dealing with this. Not one we are born with but one we learn over time. We have the strength to doubt our worldly senses. Most people are able to rely on their feelings, this makes me feel good, so it is good. We have to realize that it might be because of a level of mania. Other people see something pleasing and are able to take pleasure in it. We have our pleasure dampened by the knowledge that it might not actually be there.
I don’t speak of strength in a positive light. These are strengths we should not have to develop. These are things that no person should have to learn. But we cope. We see our doctors, take our medicine, learn about supplements and take those. We endure. And that is the most resounding strength of all.
there is nothing to fear, the voices can’t hurt you it is rubbish ( been doing this long enough to know ).
take care
Actually sith they have harmed me on two seperate occassions.
Once by shocking the ■■■■ out of me while appearing to me.
And once by burning me, while appearing to me again.
I’ve also been grabbed before.
And they were in my dreams snarling and ■■■■ once, woke up freaked and covered in sweat.
Yes, whoever can hurt us. Getting hard to tell who it is now though, back then you could just know, people didn’t have all of this tech.
you are not the liar. the voices are. voices; any thoughts that take place inside or outside of your head as words, can be ignored. do you not know that those without sz talk to themselves in their minds, and believe those are their own thoughts? the sz mind refuses to acknowledge that they are his own, and his mind is right to do so. it is not that they are alien thoughts that are place in your head; it is that words are another man’s tools, and the more you use them (reading/writing/etc), the more they will resound in your mind. accept the presence of the voices/thoughts, but ignore the content. otherwise, to fear a thought is to think a thought.