Have you ever felt you are making your symptoms up or that you are lying?

You think or hear something like “No, that didn’t just happen. You are making that up. You didn’t hear that. You are lying and trying to get attention. No one is going to believe you. If you tell your psychiatrist he is going to pretend to believe you, write you a script and then laugh at you after you leave and tell everyone what a phony you are.”
I am unsure that I may or may have not heard voices but if I did the first time I heard 3 voices chanting loudly in unison “A fake, a phony, a fraud”. Can anyone relate or am I just making this up?

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Yes I have the same thing. It’s gotten better over the years

Well it’s a touchy subject, but my reality is that I do have some control of my own symptoms, and I feel most of us do, but if we didn’t have some kind of trauma then we wouldn’t choose to have a symptom, or need attention, or feel the need to seek it out in ■■■■■■ up ways. So it really doesn’t matter if you choose it or it happens to you without choice, because either way you’ve got baggage that other people / normies don’t have to carry.

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@beep I was just about to ask about the Mormons, then I saw it change. Lol, autocorrect?

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This seems to be quite common theme amongst sz peeps.

I personally have never experienced this.

I know I’m crazy.

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There was this one time I got referred to hospital by my GP, and I felt I wasn’t Ill enough for that, so I made myself worse. I guess so they wouldn’t reject me? It’s definitely a thing.

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I worry that if I make it known that I have these symptoms that either no one will believe me or everyone will take away everything because they think I’m a danger to everyone.

I do my best to limit my discussions about my symptoms to only those I can trust (my closest friends) or don’t have to trust (anonymity).

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Yea I don’t tell my colleagues. I think they will think I’m dangerous potentially especially as some are religious. Not sure if they may see me as possessed by demons or such.

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I look at it as, I might be making it up in my head but the symptoms are real. Not sure if that came out the way I mean it to but I don’t know how to reword that…

After I was asked if I actually feel emotions and how is it that I’m not just uncontrollably murdering people, I decided pretty quick to keep my mouth shut, for the most part.

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This is a great explanation. Thanks.

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Who said that to you?

People don’t understand this condition. Fully.

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I’ve never I was faking, but I always feel like others think I am

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Well, I actually feel like I have something in common with others though. I have a BP dx, not sz but a dx is just a dx so people can get paid is what I have been told.

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I’m also not sz. I’m psychosis NOS.

YES. The suspicion is like “they don’t believe you”. After a few years of it, I try to tell myself I didn’t experience it. I’m afraid that I will confabulate if I accept it and try to explain it. Memory loss is a real thing when any type of mood or psychosis occurs for me and I have a rough time trusting myself. I mean trusting reality is tough as it is.

A person I thought would understand. It was a goth person that was talking about dark imagery. They were saying things that made me believe they experienced what I do. I told them some of the things I see. Once they caught on that I was very serious, they called me crazy (I really don’t like that phrase) and started asking me those offensive questions. I’m not sure if they were just trying to hurt me, protect themselves or just wanted to be a jerk (maybe all three) but I stopped talking about it either way.

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Yeah this seems pretty common but I just don’t understand it, my life was destroyed by this illness, how could that have been fake? Like I faked going insane and then ended up in jail and crashed my truck for attention? No, I was hearing voices and suffering delusions that impaired my judgment, that’s what. It’s pretty obvious especially in hindsight.

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I am sorry to hear this happened to you. Understandable why you see this the way you do.

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It’s cool, I’m a lot better now, haven’t had delusions in over two years and my voices are easy to ignore these days. I’m pretty much sane but had a window of like 2-3 years initially where I wasn’t.

I mean if less horrible stuff happened to me back then, I guess might be questioning it now. Early in my psychosis I went back and forth on it.

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