Urge to drink

$4.00, that’s all it it would take. Get a pint of the cheapest vodka. True gut rot, closer to fuel than palatable. Half a sip of juice, chug the vodka, more juice, I can finish a bottle in three of these.

As fast and as much as I can. Listen to music and cry as I crash into a drunken stupor, and pass out. Down for days fighting the hang over.

Sick twisted part of addiction issues is this plan sounds reasonable. Almost fun. Convince myself that it’s worth it.

I know the hell it would put me in, and I’m trying to remember that no one wants me to drink. Only one that can stop an addict is themselves.

Need to remember it’s worth not doing that.

Thanks for letting me share, helps me to share.

:llama:

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The opposite is true. I couldn’t help myself when I was drinking. I had to go to A.A.

A.A. wouldn’t exist if people could pull themselves out of the quicksand.

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I loved AA, went weekly for years. Triggered my delusions sometimes, the whole god complex.

I’ve a lot of respect for the program, I know it’s helped a lot of people. I’m grateful for The knowledge I got from them. Finished my 4th step.

But we differ fundamentally In the translation of the first step, and what it implies.

I will give that my wording wasn’t the best, and apologize, perhaps change it to “No one can stop my addiction but myself”

I’m glad AA helped you EH

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I’ve quit drinking. Months ago I used to drink a bottle of wine every night. Then I cut it down to two largers.

Yesterday I found out I was pregnant so I’ve had nothing. But the crave is there.

Don’t give in to the temptation. And it’s good you can talk about it here.

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You can try reading Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Quit Drinking. It is a bit of an odd read being an old book, but if it helps then that’s good.

I can relate a little to your story. For me alcohol is an escape as I can feel good, cantered and calm for a few hours and escape boredom, but it comes at a terrible price later: Paranoia, delusions, anger, frustration, anhedonia, the list goes on.

There is plenty of other reading material, online coaching, etc you can try.

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i did that the other week. wasnt worth it. bought cheap rum dumped it into cup with coca cola a few times.

just felt gross. poured the rest of the mickey out.

i end up doing that maybe once every 3 to 6 months for some reason.
addiction has no reason.

for me its more like a random compulsive reckless urge.
i try to tame it with reckless sports lol.

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I have a drink problem too.

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If you’re sitting in an AA meeting, you’re not drinking.

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I was the same way. I had to quit because I was doing too many crazy things when I drank. It got me in a lot of trouble. You’d think that with all the grief alcohol has caused me I would loathe the drug. Alcohol is just a liquid barbituate.

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Can you start going to virtual AA meetings? Maybe you need support right now

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Wishing you well, llama bud.

Hang in there :sunflower:

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Thanks everyone. Update for today is I didn’t drink. Had to white knuckle it for a while. Got better after my family came home and I wasn’t alone. I admitted the urge to them too.

I’ll do some research into a virtual program. A weekly check in may be good for me.

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It’s hard if you see the alcohol you get the craving. Sometimes when I see some beer being sold at a shop I will want to buy it. There are definitely triggers.

I don’t get cravings for beer. I tend to buy alcohol when I’m bored which is often.

I used to do that, when I smoked. Drank cheap vodka with Orange juice and watched jimi Hendrix videos. A great time.

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