I’ve gained alot of weight by being sedentary and getting drunk every day. I won’t lie, I’m having a really hard time without alcohol and pot and most of the time I drink during the day to help me out a bit. I drink every day almost-in fact it’s true I drink every single day. I’m an addict and my addictions are taking over my life because I don’t have a line of work to keep me sober or any classes or school dates to keep me out of the liquor store.
I’m really trying to get my ass in shape, it just seems completely impossible with these huge addictions I’ve developed. I get the shakes and get moody and snappy if I don’t get my fixes…and that’s just no way to live you know??? I have to find that sober passion and I’ve lost out to most of my passions but that doesn’t mean I’m going to give up or something. I’m going to make it regardless the cost.
I’ve tried naltrexone but they put me on a dose that was too low and I quit taking it so I could get a buzz from drinking again. I’m trying but it seems that I’m quite the alcoholic now a days, and I bought alot of booze for the weekend and new years that we haven’t even gotten into yet.
We still have:
A fifth of bushmills 40% alcohol whiskey
A bottle of chapagne
three beers left over
and a partially drunk fifth of tequila
We’re alcoholics and my girlfriend and I are both trying to hide our misery and get away from the sobering experiences of everyday life.
I understand using a buzz to hide the pain and anger…to feel…something anything…but we both know habits like that are no good on the soul…or body for that matter…I wish you luck…
I was just like you. I went to AA and now I’m sober. When I went to AA, I thought alchohol was worth dying for. Give them a go, and maybe revisit naltrexone.
Anything we can do to help - checking in on you, asking you how it’s going, keeping you on track, whatever - let us know. We’re here to help each other out.
I got addicted to sleep medicines when I was taking Latuda but managed to recover from it although I still take meds for sleep. I just don’t abuse them anymore. I also have an eating disorder that causes me to binge on sweet and salty foods which can only really be managed at the grocery line. If I buy the wrong foods I’ve already lost and the only alternative to binge eating left is to throw the remainder in the garbage which I’ve done more than once. I even have trouble with raisins, and popcorn. I also had a porn addiction and kicking it helped my illness tremendously. I don’t drink, smoke, or take hard drugs but addiction exists in other forms for me. I feel however that everyone has at least a mild addiction to something.
I used to have writing poetry as my escape but ever since i went psychotic, i haven’t been able to keep rhythmic thoughts straight. It just comes out as nonsense. Ive turned to alcohol and pot myself as my escape. It only covers up my pain
I wish you the best of luck @neveragain in overcoming your addiction. I hear it can be really hard. Although some would say that pot addiction is easy to overcome I don’t believe it. So it is going to be a struggle. Maybe if you try to not even buy or have it in the house it would help. Also if your girlfriend has the same problem it would probably be easier if you tried to get off the addiction together. At least from what I hear.
I heard it’s pretty much impossible to quit on your own. Check out AA, or get a group of people to support you in staying sober…go to rehab but then make sure you have a support system helping you maintain sobriety once out…learn to identify places or situations that make you want to drink or smoke and then either avoid them or find another more healthy activity to replace it…
Addiction is incredibly difficult. Best of luck in the battle.
Part of me, alot of me wants to dwell in this mess and just keep drinking and smoking but the world is going by me and I’m still not very happy. I don’t think I’ll be happy sober, either though. I’m pretty miserable and my relationship is pretty much on the rocks right now.
Coming up on my 25th year sober in AA. A lot of the strategies they give you to help cope with addiction also help with SZ. Can’t recommend it highly enough. Rooting for you.
A personal observation (and sorry if this is out of line): you are such a sweet, intelligent, caring person, and that really shines through when you’re sober. You have a bit of a temper when you’re not. If you can get to the point where you’re sober most of the time, I think things are going to get much better for you.
I have alot of anger and contempt inside of me I’ll admit it. I haven’t drank yet today drinking gets me in moods sometimes or I say something stupid that I didn’t even mean. I’m tired though, and I’m trying not to drink today as much as possible. I’m trying my best to stay away. Yesterday I drank:
I drank a bottle of champagne to myself
Had around five beers
drank some tequila and water
then drove to dinner at my girlfriends parents house. They could tell I was blitzed and I over ate my dinner and snacks beforehand. I knew I overdid it but at the same time didn’t care.
I’ve gotten selfish, very very selfish. I don’t share many things or have any friends that I spend a good amount of time with because most of these people have screwed me over one way or another. So I am very selfish and I question what people tell me to a tee. I question everything now a days, and I know that it’s made me a bit pretentious. But I can’t really help it after what I’ve been through. I don’t want to give or share or help anyone, I’m only focused on myself.
It’s gotten bad, and I don’t know if I can go back to being more selfless cause all it did was get me hurt alot by others. These ones also manipulated me for their gains, and causes me not to respect them but to lie to them and avoid them.
Just so you know while they seem like a short term improvement for your mental health, excessive alcohol use can actually make the brain depressed. A lot of times if someone complaining of depression who is also an alcoholic goes in for treatment, the pdoc will treat the alcoholism first and then the depression goes away…heard this from an addiction specialist who visited our class once. Furthermore pot has been scientifically proven to exacerbate psychotic symptoms, meaning it could make you have episodes more often or more severe symptoms which also isn’t really going to help you feel better.
So technically, you should actually feel a lot better sober. It’s all about finding different things to help improve your mood. Easy for me to say though, as I’m not an addict. I’ve been drunk before but find it a somewhat cheap pleasure that’s not worth the high risk for nausea and general feeling like crap, and I’ve never been high because I don’t want to risk it with my illness. Bah.
I was active duty army, and picked up on alot of drinking games and partying when we weren’t being slaves to the government. Alot of my friends were pot heads, and I began smoking after I turned 18. Now it’s like I need them every day to survive and I’m disgusted with myself. I’ve turned into a selfish pig I feel. I can’t keep this up and I can’t act this way forever. It’s no good to be this way. I have to find a way to survive and work out of this horrible situation. I’m very scared though and quite unhappy. I don’t know what I can do besides try to quit drinking today.
