So I’ve been seeing this guy for about two weeks. We have honestly told each other everything. I told him about my past with psychosis and how hard I had to work to recover, relearning basic life skills to being a full time student in software design. I finally now am stable enough that I want to start dating, but it’s hard to find a gay man that wants to take things slow. He keeps saying “I don’t want to hurt you.” and in the moment I forget to ask what he means. He tells me this normally in moments of passion. I also really don’t know what he sees in me. I am a nice and caring person but unlike him I don’t go to the gym 5 days a week and am unable to work currently due to medication resistant psychosis. He is really really nice, I just can’t get a good read on him, and we seem to have similar morals that are a bit conservative for gay men, so I am very comfortable with him.
What’s your gut saying? I mean if y’all are intimate after 2 weeks. I don’t think that’s good. Life is short doesn’t apply in that area.
I’m not judging you buddy just my opinion
We haven’t had sex, as we have both decided to wait, we just kiss a lot and cuddle while talking about life. I just have no idea what he means by “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Ask him to elaborate.
I will but I want to in person lol
Right now I can’t really go with my gut as I have absolutely no idea where this relationship is going.
Of course. I think if he’s willing to wait for sex then he’s probably a decent guy. Hopefully.
My sister’s talking to this guy from another state who seems too good to be true and it makes me weary but she’s all happy all the time so I don’t say anything.
@Air. Edit: if I did say anything to her she wouldn’t listen anyway.
She keeps saying she’s getting “confirmations” about him. I got tons of “signs” about my ex husband too. (Note the word ex b4 husband). If you see “signs” regarding this guy don’t take it as gospel. Just something I’m throwing that out there.
To me,
Someone saying “I don’t want to hurt you” a lot is a red flag.
It seems like he’s trying to warn you that he is indeed going to hurt you,
Probably by way of having sex with you and disappearing.
Two weeks isn’t long enough to really know anything.
What Rex says makes sense. I would definitely hold off sex for a loooong time and if he leaves you bc you won’t have sex then you haven’t lost anything.
Him saying I don’t want to hurt you after 2 weeks is kinda weird. Idk
That’s how I feel too. And I hate it. He seems like a really nice guy, I just have no ■■■■■■ clue lol
From a biitch who knows,
They all SEEM like good guys.
I know you’re right. I always catch feelings too fast. ■■■■ me
Where did you meet him? Do y’all have similar interests and such?
We met online. We also have mutual connections in the community, like I work at the same place that his previously deceased husband used to work. It’s a bit weird tbh. We are both really into healthy lifestyles, and we seem to have the same view on relationships.
I agree. That’s why I’m weary of my sister’s friend. He just seems too good to be true. @Air those are the kind to watch out for.
Dating a widower is a whole different ball game. This gives new insight into “I don’t want to hurt you”. My mom was single for ten years after my dad died, and now she’s in a relationship but struggles with feelings of guilt about loving someone besides my dad, and thinks about breaking up with him every other week because she feels bad that he has to settle for knowing he will always be her second choice.
That said, they have been together for a few years now. He is incredibly patient and understanding. He doesn’t get jealous on the days when she makes him sleep in another room because she wants to spend the night talking to my dad’s ghost (sanity isn’t strong in my family)
He says he didn’t really want to get married then he just fulfilled his partners wish to get married a week before he died.
Was he already sick?
Well if he was married then he obviously doesn’t fear commitment. That’s a positive.