He doesn’t like saying we are boyfriends even though we are having sex. He just came in to visit this evening. He goes to college full-time in addition to doing three and a half days at our psychiatric care provider with court-ordered treatment. He’s bisexual and I’m gay. I’ve been giving him space since he told me he didn’t want to be boyfriends, but he keeps calling and coming by to see me. He wants to get together for sex Monday or Tuesday.
Does he like you or is he just using you for sex?
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I think he likes me. He doesn’t trust me yet, but we only been going together for three weeks. I’m not emotionally attached to him yet.
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He’s been good for me though. I lost my purpose for living after my mom died February 2018. He wants to move to the Northwest corner of the state when he graduates, but said he could change his mind.
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I hope it works out for you two.
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He’s been married twice to two different women, and is divorced now. He seems very experienced having sex with men though. I’ve been gay since I was 17, and he puts me to shame.
I hope he isn’t just using you. Be careful and be safe
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Thanks LunaNoir. I’m not going to get hurt again. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to love a man again after the way my second lover treated me when I was in my 20’s and early 30’s. He’s 51 and I’m 61 now. Until he came along, I was 46 the last time I had sex.
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Enjoy the time you have with him <3…
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I hope it works out for you. I just hope he’s not using you. You should think about what boundaries you need to set to protect your heart
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This thread makes me want to have a cigarette.
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You keep it careful and in charge than any sex is good sex. Keep it on your terms and there’s no losers. As others have said. Keep yourself safe and in control of what you want and it’s all good…
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I’m good. He just visited last night without the sex. I like him a lot, but he is limiting how involved we are. I’ve got a lot of free time on my hands while he is busy with rehabilitation services college work. He has PTSD, so I’m learning to deal with it. I have to let him control when we are together. I think he’s starting to trust me a little. If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. Spring break from school is coming up, so he will have more time.
I’ve done astrology compatibility profiles on us, and horoscope wise we are supposed to be very compatible. I don’t totally believe in horoscopes though. I was into them more when I was a young man.
I’d set some ground rules going forward, you both neee to be clear on what this arrangement is, what you want to get out of it. So no one gets attached and hurt, which tends to happen
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I think he has set his ground rules. I’m fine with however much he wants to get involved. My only thing is I won’t support an alcohol or drugs habit. I’m an alcoholic where he can stop after a couple of beers. I’ve told him this. He isn’t allowed to drink or do drugs while under court-ordered treatment. They do random drug tests on him.
I’m not sure what I’ll do if he starts seeing a woman. He’s told me his ex-wife wants to get back together again, and he doesn’t know what he wants to do. That’s when I told him I wanted to be boyfriends. Just making clear I was willing to make a commitment.
I need to ask him if he has kids. We have similar religious beliefs, but I can’t discuss that here.
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I think communication throughout and your situation will be fine
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He’s on Medicaid and receives Food Stamps. He’s also on SSDI which is low, and I think he said he gets a small SSI check. His total income is like $850 a month, while my SSDI is $1890 a month. He would lose some of his benefits if we got married. We would have to stay single so we wouldn’t lose benefits. I don’t think he wants to get married again, after being married twice before.
I would have married my two lovers I had when I was young if it were legal back then.
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I going to wait and see if he moves away when he graduates school and gets off his court-ordered treatment. I don’t want to move, and I’m pre-planned with a local funeral home. They will pick up within a 50 mile radius.
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